bye bye jie. sisters we'll stay.

my hse is in a bigger mess than i expected.
clothes, bras, underwears, dresses (okkayyy too much info) lying all over the damn floor.
(i was kidding bout the bras n stuff btw.)
and my notes are LITERALLY strewn alllllllll over the fuckin floor.
which nice, sweet, ol' pal of mine will help me clear it??
*Big innocent eyes of gold*

POUT. fine. i'll do it myself.
just got back frm the airport .sent sarah jie off.
surprised her with a lil' bouquet of roses.
i hope she likes it.
(: just wanted to tell you jie, just how much ilu*
and hope you come back again soooooon.
(: mwahhhhs*.

-tears-
imisssarah!!!
My darlin' sis. who went crown, lost $$ with me,
played games like monopoly with me,
slept beside me each night,
woke me up to a nice breakfast each morning,
went Glen, Chadstone,City, Crown, Princes Pool with me.
went shopping,Window-shopping, bitchinggg with me.
spent $, felt broke, gambled still with me.
ate 9847656456 times a day with me.
wore makeup in a small squishy toilet with me.
went Royal Melbourne show with me,
watched Simpsons and Futurama with me everyday.
cleaned up the dishes with me.
gave me the comfort of a family that i sooo need.
esp in terms of emotional support when i failed my exam.
made dinner with me.
ohhhhh and BROWNIES too!!
complimented my cooking, esp the curry i made for you!
(: made me feel ever sooo loved and beautiful.
reassured me that i am beautiful- no matter the situation.
gave my spirits a lift just when i needed one.
for not judging me when i did certain things wrong
or even when we had our differences.
for forgiving my stupidity with open arms.
and basically, being everything a sister should be.

ilu* my dearest jie.
sa, imu* alr. and i wish you all the best in whatever you choose to do.
whether or not daddy/ad support you,
you knw me n becky will.
(: with everything i ever needed, ilu* and i need you.
sisters fer life, sa. (:

*the pics: (left) me n dm. (: my sweetpea! (Right) thats my lovelyyyyyy sarah jie. mwahhS*

my heart is leaving melb

BIGGGG SIGH***

sarah jie is leaving melb today.
to go home to sunny spore.
*sighs a while more*

gotta send her off.
I HATE BEING HERE ALONE.
okkk. fine. so im technically NOT alone.
i got lovelyyyyy peeps like mark dil tim rasha vik
and my sweets- D.
(:

BUT STILL.
the company of a sister is incomparable to anything.
S:

i have tooo much work left!
pouts!
i think im gonna de-hibernate this weekend.
do allll my work.
eat less, sleep less- STUDY only.
sighhhhhhh*
i really wanna pass first year.
):

okok i gtg!!
taaaa pple.

to stef::: thanks babe! ilu* more!
ohhh and sarah is leaving today. SIGH gonna return to being emo and sad.
hahaha. lovelove!

sometimes you say that you love me
but youre just saying the words
if you got something to tell me
let it be heard.

more and more pictures.

//our lives will be painted amongst the skies. and our faith will knw no boundaries.
//guess who got homer for the night? -wink.-
//curkg. markkkkk the terrorist. (the afro and beard kindly sponsored by Royal melb show. TSK)
//i decided to be an emo for this week. good attempt?? ):
// sarah and me!!! going to Crown Casinooooo. (to lose.) poutt!
//another of my emo-ness emanating out.

updating is NOT a norm! (: peeeektures.

// me n mark. what more can a bgf ask for? (: ilooooovethisboy. (@ royal melbourne show!)
//dmitri, with the world behind us, we'll make it through. (torquay!)
// drive up to Torquay. with mark and allister (:
// (left) allister dim alex me mark ken daniel! show some muscles!




arghhh my post just got deleted by itself.
-cursed!-
damnnnn this blog.

anyhowwwwww tonight is Billboard Nightclub with sarah jie and dim.
(:
cant wait.

as for last friday- as you wouldve alr guessed-
V didnt turn up.
you'd honestly think that if someone wants you bad enough,
he'll try in every ounce of his power to see you/
or at least be there.
but noooooooo....
not vik.
not the person i'd want to give all my heart to.
for once, without getting hurt as a return gift. ):

soooo didnt meet vik in bout a week plus.
its a strange feeling.
like a longing to see him yet dont wanna rekindle any form of like with him.
S: sighs. -complicated-

as for now,
im jst gonna keep uploading pics for u all.
share the love ppl.

and a very special thanks to dmitri (identify him via PICTURES. tsk):::
thank you for spending this wholeeeeee week with me.
and my sis sarah.
we both appreciate everything you have done.
esp since you got a lottttttttttt of work to do.
thanks for pool night, shopping days,
casino nights, CLUBBING NIGHT TODAY (:
and evry other day that you were with me. n sa.
(: imu* alr.
thanks for the sleepovers. and evry second of the day that i've been thru with or without you.
ilu! (: mwahh*

updating is not a norm.

//me n sarahhhh at Flinders St Station. on the way to the Royal Melbourne ShOW!

//taadaaa. this is the melb show. (:
// (Left:) allister dmitri alex ken daniel (front:) mark! my hot surf boys.
tsk tsk.
sarah my er jie is here in melb.
cos' im having spring hols now.
been spending like nobody's business.
TSK TSK.
shopping... CASINO (mainly losing that is.).... eating out....
so basically,
im growing AGAIN. tsktsk

most of this hols was spent with sarah (duhh) and d.
i have a lot of pics to upload.
and God forbid- my internet is shit now.
i cant even do my work using Muso.
fuck shittttttttttttt.
anyhowww...
went to Torquay last saturday for a surf.
(i obviously just laid there).
then pickd sarah up. and went SHOPPING. etc etc etc.
today is CLUBBING night. prolly at billboards.
S: not sure yet.
but whatdaheck.

pix pix pix!! (:

curkggggg.

YAY YAY YAY.
spring break is here.
only for a week, *Sigh* but i shant complain.
others have assignment over the week.
med is lucky.
(be glad meddies).

im home. at like 2 pm.
curkg.
no work anymore.
assignment in! (: (: (:
D's getting a new car for his mom. with his mom. tsk.
and vik's LOST.
dont knw when we're gonna go out. SIGHHH
( i dont even want to contemplate what im gonna tell him)
Mark's with Yani.
Dil's with .... dont knw. mayb tim. mayb alex. (identity unknown)
hurr.
so tadaaa.
rach the butterfly is ALONE at home.
once again.

actually,
it feels kinda good to be alone. for once in this week.
some alone time to reminisce about how i fucked up the week
and fucked us up.
and basically jst screwed the turn of my life over.
): no more brownies.
no more...
no more........

TSKKKKKKKk
im SD. hahahha soo much more since yday
thanks to D.
erghhhh poutttttt.
turns things up to put it down. ):

the week ahead. PLANNED!
tsktsk.
friday
-movie with vik (assuming he turns up)
saturday
- TORQUAY baby! (:
-pick sarahjie up frm the airport.
-go dine with her.
sunday
-church
-shopping at chaddy!! tsk tsk.
ETC
monday
-Royal Melb show. YAYYYY fuck yeah!!
-shopp??
tuesday-friday
-basically shopp + Crown + Knox or smth. (:
ideas anyone??
mayb even torquay!! (:

she's leaving on sunday.
ohh yesss.
and to storm up the week of hols,
im gonna STUDY.
yeahh u heard me. stuuuuh-diiiiii. (:

keh.
today stinks.
its starting to rain.
and BLOODY VIK has my nice, one n only, reddish umbrella.
tskkkk.
andd im stuck home.
MAY I ADD- alone,
with nooo sign of habitation.

uhhh..
to all who had (or effectively WILL have) an actual holiday vacation-thingy,
hope you guys have a smashing time.
and dont get TOO smashed (for those who chose the darkside- aka alcohol)
grab a bunch of bindys and shake.
but take care of yourselves!
(i dont mean to sound like a dr or anything like that)

been reading linn n stef's blog.
wahhhh. meh! you guys seem to have the TIME of your life jst hanging ard london.
im jealous.
and disgusted with my lifestyle down under (in this lil hole they call melbourne)
curkggg.

*i gotta stop saying that.
urgggh.
im sucha sad case.
listen to mary j blige's No More Drama.
mayb for a change, life wouldnt be about drama, no more.
S:

no more pain.
no more drama in my life.
no one gonna make me hurt again.

YAY. sarah is comin.

okkkkkkkk
site visit today- alrite.
funny moments.

got d his favourite meatball sub! (: teehee.
ohhh he did well on his test.
i cld see it! (:

andddd.... sarah jie is finallllllllllllllly coming over to melb.
for as long as she wants.
teehee.
buttttt that means i gotta get my car fixed- faaaast.
):

as for my assignment....
ahhhh i cant be fuckedddddddd.
seriouslyyyyyyy.
):

rant rant. watching House now.
NICE! (:
d's at soccer. got to get this assignment done.
S:
oh oh oh! gotta pick him now!
toolooots! (:
------------------------------
i knw,
you tink im yours.
and that THAT's the way it shld be.
but you'd be wrong.
cos' thats not what you want from me.

curkg.

i shld be doing my assignment.
-nods-
but noooooooooooooooo....
i'm blogging,
watching simpsons,then Neighbours, then Futurama.
then... NO TIME FOR WORK.
great.

there goes yet another day.
):

ooooh.
received a nice sms today.
a simple good evening from someone.
someone i wld have given my whole werld to.
someone i shld have tried harder for.
and all it took was a harmless good evening
to take my breath away-.

im sorry i didnt choose the path most taken.
instead,
i settled for what i shld have,
not want to have.

for once,
i tink imu*.
enuf to say, iwu*.
but too scared to tell you inu*.
S:
( i love the idea that i can rant on with my lil acronyms.)
sigh.

another three days
and the assignment is due!
pout!
hope i live past that.

stuck on two.

fall on me,
tell me everything you want me to be.
forever its you,
forever in me.
forever the same.

oh god.
seriously-
tell me every single f*ckin thing you want me to be.
im over trying NOT to care that you care.
and it shits me (LITERALLY SHITS ME)
that i have to cater to BOTH of you. at the bloody same time.
and its offensive to me that you (v),
think that we're tog when technically, we have NTH tog.
we ARE NTH tog.
you dont even want to acknowledge me.
how can you claim me yours NOW?!??

and you D,
you cling like im gonna DIE tmr or smth.
you knw,
i like that alot (no shit. i really do)
but i think you misunderstood me when i said "NOT YET".
oh wells..
cant say shit,
I got myself into this shit.
and i dont understand how im ever gonna get out of it.

im oVER THIS SHIT!
im back to the assignment.
i REALLY need to get it done.
roar!

-guilt trip-

take me on a fucking guilt trip, now, wont you?
came home after lunch w alex to 2 sms-es.
(if you dont alr knw, i seldom get msgs. hah)
one from V. the other frm D.
GREAT.

so you'd think one will just die off (or at least you hope so)
and the other will linger around more.
NooooOooo.
you get one in your face (the one less desirable in terms of friendship)
and the other (the one you wish wld linger ard) hangs ard AS AND WHEN he likes to.
greatttttttttt.
i need a hole to hide my face in.
im ashamed of what i cannot decide on,
and what they cannot give to me.

dil is right- i shld settle for comfort.
at least i would.
but why cant the comfortable guy be YOU?!?!

it eats me to think about how it could have been with you.
and yet, the other part of me sits on the opposite fence
and hope i wouldnt fall off.

i shldnt have to be sooo indecisive when it comes to men.
i shldnt let my heart ctrl my head.
and i wont!
i just gotta be sure and pick- rather than regret and use the spare one instead.
): im sad.
this isnt helping the fact that i need to concentrate on my work and assignment.
i wish i knew what to do.

stoopid cupid.
suchab*tch.

even tho i knw that currently, this lil triangle of ours isnt as bad as it seems
(cos nothing is official, YET)
i jst have this urge to break it all up.
so no one has false hope with someone else.
n i hope its you in the end who'll be ther.

hypocrite

the guilt running thru me is inreparably a mistake.
i shldnt have to feel this way.
i shldnt have to try not to.

i missed pfe last night cos' i received atrocious results.
results unbearably disappointing.
and i dont mean Singaporean's definition of disappointing.
i MEANNNN reallllll disappointing.
to the extent that its worthy of elaine halley's privileged meeting.
*sigh*.

i dont even want to ask the sporeans how they did.
i dont want to hear from jeremy on monday.
cos' he saw my first reaction to the results.
(i ran past him covering half my fuckface, you see)
its not that i want to diss them or belittle myself,
but their usual rxn shits me. -the ohhh i did so badly but ending up doing 70s-90s.

anyhowww im starting on my assignment now.
WOOT.
hopei dont fail this one as well.
and last night,
i cooked shepherd's pie for alex n Dmitri.
and nowwww,
i made a hugeeee mistake.
the kind of mistake that shits you in the inside when you meet the one youre supposed to be with.
the one everyone expects you to like. for a life.
its the kind of mistake that you couldve prevented and shldve. but those are the last words of a fool.
the kind that you resent when its done unto you, but when youre in that situation and you've done that exact same uncouth thing,
you become a walking hypocrite.

and that was me yday,
when i took all your pride away
by tryin not to.

ooops i did it again.

uni was alrite.
I STUDIED the bloody upper limbs for ONCE
and not drag it on till next week.
heh (:

but as usual,
somethin just HAS TO go wrong.
met dmitri for lunch.
did a wee bit of catchin up (tho we clearly meet every other day. haha)
then...
went to the lib to study,
and guess what?!
lil ol' sweeeeeeeet D. decided to acc me to study.
awwwwwwwwww.
yes. awww indeed.
we actually STUDIED.
with no distractions.

besides the fact that i bit me tongue twice
and lip once.
and my wholeeeee mouth is literally bleeding now.
*sighs*
anywayyyy,
my convo w D. was awkward
cos' JUST as i msged vik on how much i was thinkin of him,
D. askd me out.
(i mean out out. not just out)
haha.
anywayssssssss,
i fret. and with my usual cool tone,
changed the topic ever so conveniently.

soooo heres a shoutout to vik:::
sweets.
ilu* and imu* the whole of today.
even with you sitting right in fronta me.
i still want you to be mine.
and no one else's.
then came D.
and he really showed me what its like to play,
to feel (not in a perv way thank you),
to just have fun.
(whether or not youre w someone you feel for).
vik- we dont have that kinda fun anymore.
i dont even get a 'goodnight' each day before i slp.
we barely talk face to face without the influence of alcohol.
name me one time we actually HAD a real date tog.
-n.e.v.e.r.
and you try to be someone youre not so i'd keep waiting.
but altho i knw i said i'll wait (and i really am btw)
you cant keep taking your time.
i think of D. cos he makes me smile.
and with you, i tink i havent smiled in a long time.
this is not what a rship shld be like.
we shld be PROUD of each other (n by that, i mean ACKNOWLEDGE me).
ilu* but theres really nth that will keep us going for a day.

and yet another one for D.:::
D!D!D! (: teeheee.
we had an awesomeeee day today. didnt we?
even without a word,
you made my day a better one (:
ohhhh yes. and despite your defences,
you're still my guji guji lil kid.
(: ohhh yes.
and thank you for the offer.
ilikeyou. but you knw i got other commitments yeahhh.
till then, you'l be first on my list. wahhaha.
(: and as for drivin you home today-
it'll be pleasure to walk beside you for the rest of the time.

emo entry.

this entry is selectively special to one person.
someone i miss ever so dearly
cos' we havent met,
havent talked
and
havent msged in a long long while.

yes babe-
its you. TIFFANY (:

all the long darn way to perth.
hunnnie!
i misssssss you.
and im sorry i havent replied ur letter yet.
I WILL SOON.
hahaha. jst tht im soooo bz w shit work that i DONT do.
haha
but i do still love you alot alot.
and i miss youuuuuu!
(: mwahhh* hope things w simon is getting better at least.
my dear my dear. ilu* so.

oooh.
gdnews for my tute grp for stats-
we dont have to do the qns anymoreeeee!
yay. that means LESS reading---> less work----> MORE FUCKING SLEEP.
dont mind my french, but its really fuckd up for a MEDICAL course.
sigh*
they just dont get it, do they!?

oooh.
just talked to kim on msn (tansil's gf STILL hahah)
yess i miss her so much!
met her ONCE In my wholeeee life in spore when she was there for a hol.
and havent talked ever since.
its been a yr almost.
and i misss you girl!!!! keep in touch.
with love.

sighhh.
with sooo many pple ard i have yet to talk to,
i feel this sudden social detachment from the ones i love
and miss ever so much.
and how i wish i knew what to say to them.
to all..
like Linn my one n only, Stef dearrrr, xy, megggg bestie, tiffie babe, and all others in spore like Josh Gerk Elmo etc:::
i miss you guys so much.
and its hard to keep in contact every min of every day
when i have to call literally 4567890 pple.
i wish i cld tho.
but ilu* all still.
as much as before. (:
and i pray each day for you guys. (: loveeeeeeeee.

ive been shuffling thru my friendster pics.
and other pics in my comp.
and i came across these few pics of us.
us back then- when we were close.
stuck like glue.
us when the werld cldnt tell us what to do,
what to say,
how to act,
who to become.
us when the sporeans cldnt define us.
and despite all their constant efforts to dissuade me,
we didnt even falter.
i kinda liked it at transition camp.
we had our own way of dealing with ppl
and we didnt stop to care.

sometimes,
when i reminisce,
and rembr how i SAW myself wih a future with you,
i tear a little innocence,
at how gullible i was to believe in you
and listen so intently to everything you promised me.
i can reassure you that my heart no longer beats for him-
cos ive learnt you'll never get what you want.
and for once inmy life- i wanted you sooo bad.
enough emo-ing ard.
IM OVER J.

ive been hooked onto the saddest song ever.
Mad World.
me n mark made our own rendition of it. (: compare.(:

and i find it kinda funny
i find it kinda sad
dreams in which im dissecting are the best i ever had.
i find it hard to diagnose you
i find it hard to test.
when everythings a mess and its a very very,
sick world.

pls dont ask how we had so much time to RETARD a song up.
heh.
and for my own emo-ness to unveil,
i shall sing it out loud
till it sings itself in your mind.

updates are needed.

//pouting. this was a longgggggggg journey up.
//alex and myself. loveeeee!
//ken n i. these 2 boys are the best! (:
// ME! at torquay.
//torquay beach. (:







anyhowwwwwwww.
went to Torquay Beach on sunday with alex ken and 4 girls frm UWA.
was alrite.
cldnt surf cos' of that womanly time of the month.
):
still...
the scenery was perfecto!(:
wld love to go again. this time, hope you'll be there with me.

OMG mich hunn called me today to tell me abt M. the bitch.
OMGGGGGdness. that witch.
if i had ONE person on my 'idontlikeyourface' list,
YOU'LL be on it.
b*tchfit!!
sometimes, i knw YOU THINK you're so hot. well, technically,
you are.
but with your unearthly methods of starvation and splurge on beads and makeup and WHAT NOT,
i think you cld neverrrrrrrr spend enough kaaching on your attitude and character.
have you heard of 'revoltin'?
cos' that's you right up my arse.

stuff YOU.
strutting down the melb streets like you deserved anthony.
or for any case-
the other guys you've dated (or cheated with)
like L's bf. and what not.
babe- get a lifechange. you'll need it.
i have to catch up on work. but then again...
had a drinking session at my place on Fri night.
with Vik, alex, dmitri, dil, tim, mark.

Noooo, i didnt un-sd-fy myself.

unfortunately. hahah. yahhh.
but anywayyyyyyyyy,....
it was a NORMAL drinkin night for me.
nt that tipsy - thank god.
oOooh!
yesssss. and me n you are still a lil rocky.
cant say it's gotten Worse since friday,
but thank God for booze! (:

-thumbs up??-

ohhhh and this friday is PFE. (YES i knw. i realised i made a mistake regardin the date. OPSIE)
Well, for linn n stef n xy- i THINK i'll be un-sd-fied as of friday.
Hehe. nahhh jk
its cos' we'll all prolly bunk in at my place after a drunk drunk pfe this fri.
so technically....Think about it....
theres a high incidence on a drunk night. taaaha.

ANYWAY,
hope tmr's a better uni day for me.
this whole semester has been a sh*t sem
and technically NOTHING has gone right.
as for D.
my spooning partner (as alex wld LIKE to call it),
im sooo sorry. the guilt inside will eat me frm within.
its like a demon i cant chase out. ):

pixies.

// dmitri dilini meg me alex at Pancake Parlour!! (:

//meg me. arent we sooo cutE?-delusion-

pictures pictures peek-at-us.

//me n megggggg (:
//this is the Curry i cooked for my bestie! (and she actually liked it)
// me n mark. -scrubbin' for an op-
// shane chris mark rach. another successful surg!


just a quick update.
me and him are NOT doing ok. in fact, tonight- at my house's party- im gonna mk it clear once and for all, that im NOT gonna keep waiting ard like you expect me to.

tadaa. done!

and for a record- im NOT taking shit frm anyone.
nah-ah! NO ONE. (:

ohhhh and across these few days,
i'll be posting up MORE pics of megg's trip here.
and of cos,
some of my other pics too!
OHHH and definitely pics i'll be taking TONIGHT,
assuming the houseparty DOES go according to plan.
(:(:(: i cant wait.

ohhh man.
i think i have a newwwww eyecandy.
well, technically NOT new-
just ANOTHER one.
haha.
ohhhhh
lets call him "D."
uhhhh. my hot hot friend, its hard to try when youre just sizzlin'.

wooooooot!

i will upload more more more pics soon.
(:

meg left, im back to residing in this lil hole of mine.
a lousy, lonely house
with absolutely no one to talk to,
but myself.

the intended meeting with you at coffee HQ didnt work out (ONCE AGAIN)
cos alike all the past situations,
YOU JUST DONT TURN UP.
pout.
im OVER THIS.
im OVER YOU.
nahh im not. ahhaa

read linn n stef's blog.
and im glad jit n u are good babe!!
as for linnie,
i have to say-
girl, i knw one night's are shit.but
think abt it-
AT LEAST you had fun, right?
even with more-than-one-night's,
ITS SHIT.
trust me on that.
mr.oh-so-big-dick-J will second that.

sometimes,
im glad im SD,
i dont have the obligation of 'reporting' to someone else,
of having to impress or please him,
of tryin so hard to realise he isnt even lifting a finger for you.
men are just so-.
they never try, expect US to try,
complain about our flaws, IGNORE our beauty,
order us around, PRETEND like we're theirs.
BLAHBLAH.
i wish i was a lesb. solve my problems and 'INFIDELITY' of those i've dated.
haha.

in your face, you mungent.
yeahh racist am i?
well i dont recall someone using derogatories like 'mamas' and 'nehneh'.
OPSSSSS. didnt expect my group of ppl to be alll brown, did you?

well.
got a lil note frm vik yday.
it tore me down so hard.
wish i even knew where to begin.
he reiterated the situation to his own ideas
and left me stunned.
and i replied it with a lil msg myself,
and i hope this really works out.
really.

to you:::
bubs. do i look like im halfready to let go?
as much as you think im oh-so-* that i can find someone else,
youre wrong.
im not half as good as you cut me out to be.
and BE SURPRISED if i do let go,
cos' thats not how it works.
commitment is shit- i agree.
even a girl like myself hates that.
but understnad that that's just a rship.
you either put in your all, or its fucked.
no halfway compromise.
if you had even tried,
you would have been the one.
S: and look at us now,
we barely even talk anymore.
we barely even knw each other.
and whilst couples are fallin in and outta love,
we're still back where we started- NOWHERE.

no shit-
and you wonder what went wrong

i love you bestie!

went to uni as usual.
then had to leave early to be officially a sucky nanny.
anyways,
then met megg and sam for dinner at the Glen!!
yummy restauranty food!
-licks lips*
then headed home.

alex picked us to take a trip to narra warren for Krispy Kremes!!
(: yum yum.
EIGHT boxes of krispy kremes= fats.
(: teehee.
had fun!
ohhhh my car headlights are fucked so i dont knw how long it will take to fix.
erghhs.
pout.

anyhowwwwww
tmr i'l be meeting you at Coffee HQ at 8.45am.
WOOT.
i guess to you,
a long, serious, chat about US is only worth 15 mins of your precious time.
the other 5467890 hours is prolly spent SLEEPING
roar.
i shant complain.
once again,
to rectify my stand- i have no rights in this anymore.
and after the short, silent-killing note i passed to you today,
i think it's well established that this realy isnt workin out, babe.

tmr is gonna be a long fucked day.
i shall post up moepics tmr.
and i really am gonna miss my bestie meg,
when she leaves for spore tmr afternoon.
my heart will melt to watch her leave just like that.
and i knw,
for a good fact,
that i am gonna regret it
if i didnt tell her or show her at least,
just how much she means to me.

yeshh meg-
youre my werld.
more than that-
you made me.
(:

mwahhhs my dear.
this entry, and every other one, will be for you.
lovelove.
you got my thoughts,
my mind and my actions.
babe- you've got me! (:
(and yes, we're well aware of the fact that homosexuality is prominent in IJ girls, thank you)

this is how besties shld be.

// this is how retarded besties shld be. hehe. (:
// me and her- the one i give my werld to.


//this is my bestie! ilu*


-cos its just gotta be you, bestie. (: with all my love.

--------v----------

ok.
didnt end up gg to PubCrawl on Friday
cos' megggg my darlinkx came!!! (:
were tired,
so went home to zzzzzz.
allister didnt go too well on pubcrawl,
but glad he's doing so much better now!

darlin' al,
hope ure feeling wayy betterrrrrr.
i miss you! and im worrying bout you 24-7.

anyway,
didnt exactly do much this week.
was supposed to meet you yday
but as usual,
you dont turn up for things.
anyhow,
im OVER THIS. what am i gonna do with you?

sigh.
so my week's been bad.
alex shld knw.
i fell into a chronic depression mood.
YES.
d-e-p-r-e-s-s-i-o-n.
and thank god meg came on fri.
cos she kinda got me out of it unknowingly
(: teehee.

BUTTTT im still a teenie weenie sad.
dont ask.
accumulation of shits.
and now im soooooo bored. home alone.
meg went for lunch with some others. (dont knw who)
and im bored.
cooked up a curry meal for her dinner.(by this, i mean LITERALLY CURRY, not brown ppl)
hope she even likes my cooking (its kinda bad actually).
haha.

anywayyyyyyys,
today is churchday.
im gonna get fucked if i see F. there.
really.
i'll burst out tearing and run off.
turhur.
S:
----------------------------- v-------------------------------
it isnt much to ask
that you APPEAR fr events.
and sometimes,
i wish you'd try to TELL me if you cant turn up.
i see others,
like Dil n wendy n Theek n etc,
havin a blast just SEEING and talking to the ones they're with.
but noooooooooooo,
i bearly knw you.
and im tryin to get past that border of just having a glimpse of you each day.
i'd walk beside you if you'd only let me.

i'd take your hand and walk with you.
i'd let you have my remote control
and i'd wash up the dishes.
i'd drive you across the towns,
and i'd make Portugese Breakfast for you,
and only you.
i'd paste the stars up in the sky,
and i'd tell you bedtime stories for life.
i'd wake up at 4 am to pick you up when youre drunk in the city.
and i'd promise not to yawn (:

i'd work and get you your favourit mos shirt.
and i'd wash your car on weekends.
i'd tell you when im hurtin'
and i'd never hide a thing from you.
i'd sing you 'me and you' when you want me to
and i'd play you a song with my life.
(:
i'd do anything.
if only you'd let me try.