i miss keith. dito.

jewel his younger sis called me frm spore today
and i dont know
felt a wave of shame yet so much misses and love.

u think u knw sm1. and then u feel uve lost touch of the basic feelings u had.
but then again, one msg and it all comes running back.
and the love doesnt seem so forgotten anymore.
and when i come to think of it,
i hvnt had an actual decent rship where i felt i NEEDED to be in, since keith.

but after uve hurt a grazillion ppl on the way to 'recovery',
you feel thers no turning back.
cos if u do
u trample on those pple once more to get back to the start where everything was the way God made it to be.

and if i think more abt what cldve been- a simple wedding, lotsa kids, a simple RING
and all that was suddenly good enough for me.
i would realllly hate my life.

and if i tried to forget, i'd be lying. for the DAYS AND MONTHS (close to 6 mths alr btw) of reminscing and regret.
i feel like i finaly found someone- but he's not mine anymore.

and so emo, but to think i announced my engagement out loud.
i was the proudest bride u'd ever find.
well its over now.
and im dating someone called jason for 3 months now.
wow.
times have flown by.
with no remorse for me.

and i wish just once, i could wake with 6 months amnesia disorder and just continue where we left off.
just say yes, baby