mmc visit today

ok im starting up my facebook acct.
i KNW how laggin i am with technology.
GIVE ME SOME TIME OK!

ahahah its so confusin. plus my net is fuck slow.
thats like double whammy man.
hahah

(:

ohyes and we had MMC buddy visits today
One. the guy taking us ard was hot as! na lah. its jst me n eygptian boys.
hahaha.
and Two. i change my mind abt cabrini.
i wana go rural!
woot!
not sure hw far in the line i can go with this idea in my head
but im gonna try. try try try.
(:

ohyes.
and an inspiration to my career today-
NEVER be a resp physician (well you can call that a inspiration or deprivation)
anddddd never go rural in yr 4.
you'll die a horrible death.

so yes. to sum it all up,
gotta go rural next yr then!!

schiz day

CPP today
was alriteeeeeeeeee .
but veryyyyyyy exhausting.

bleahhhhs xp

OHHHH we went ard lilydale area to visit 3 shelters for homeless ppl w mental disabilities.

most had schizophrenia
others had parkinson's
or even dementia-like illnesses.
some due to drugs/smoking/alcohol. sighhhhhhhhhhh*

psych students wld have loved it.

we talked to a lotttttttttt of them
and they were soooooooooooooo nice.
even tho some had paranoia schizo (which let me tell you, are THE MOST hardest patients to calm down,)
it was goooood.

we had a 75y/o lady who had a crush on solo. HAAA.
she was simply adorable.
(i cld tell all the girls 'expected' that nice lady to do so. hah)
and a schizo lady who was sizing me up the wholeeeeeeeeeeee time
till it was weirdly uncomfortable for me
and in the end,
she told me she likes me. (:(:(:(:(:(:(:

YAY! (:
(at least she finds fondness amidst my uneasiness. heheeeeee)

anyway
nth much else.
erghhhhhhh.

time to do some cpp work!!!!

hot hot hot

nth much to blog abt.
whats new.

exam is over.
last night had karaoke in The Palace along Burke road.
was alrightttttttttttt.

its spposed to start at 9 but ended up going on with shitty trance-y music till 11
THEN the funniest grp started singing.
none other than-
Bice, Andys, and dan.

OH MAN i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee those guys
theyre simply hilarious.
esp andy! (:

they sang Incomplete by BSB
in the funniesttttttt way.
with the whole shebangs. (:

(((((((((((;
other than that ONE song,
OMG the night was shit as.
i cldnt have felt more tired and sick sitting ard
hoping i was drunk so i cld pretend i was having fun.

bleahhhh xp

ohh tonight-
San Churros
then Night Cats.
hope its fun
i MIGHTTTTTTTTTTT go. hahaha we'll see.
rach is sooooooooo tired on this WARM WARM WARM sat arvo.
OMG its fucking warm today
im so happy its nt even funny la.

(:

its abt time.

EXAM IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

yay yay yay

i mean
ok it was shit hard
and i probably will never knw abt ketones
and what not-
BLEAHHHHHHHHHHHS
but who cares, seriously?

today was a subtle postexam day-
no drinks n what not.
jst a quiet chaddy movie "i now pronounce you chuck and larry" which is SHIT BORING.
(pls dont watch.)

and went home cos sam had work to do.
but other than that,
tmr is drinking-till-you-cant-rembr-what-happened-the-day-before !!!! (:
yay yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

cant wait.
i havent drank in ages
jst cos im usually the designated driver,
or that i got issues and cant drink.
but nowwwwwwwwwwwwww
woooooooots! (:
cant cant wait.
andddddddddd sat- San Churos for the best chocs everrrrrrrr
and then Night Cats laterrrz for a wee bit of shakin' it off... (its either salsa or jazz. hmmmmms)

who cares?

exams are over till...
till....
oh what the heck. its over.

change.

there are alot of things in life we just can't change.
but for everything else,
we can.
and thats what we should all be doing.

don't dwell on the minute details of a flaw,
don't gossip on the account that it makes yourself feel better,
don't judge- leave that to God, one day.
don't mourn for the things you lose,
or the things you can't have,
or the friends you can't stand,
or the time you can't afford,
or the flaws you can't accept.
don't fight when you think you're right,
fight for what's right.
don't cry cos' someone put you down,
cry to get back up.

ok i dont knw how this cliche poetic side of me suddenly came out
it jst did.

but i guess
everyone has a shitty day, maybe a YEAR,
maybe a person. hah.
bugger!
but theres so much more to living than hoping to be dead.

and for all who's faith has shaken
in times of doubt and need- alike myself a shortttttttt while ago-
don't.
no one finds perfection in life.
but i can almost believe it is.

ooosh

nth much to blog abt.
besides the fact that i am eternally broke.
yes hear my woes. ):

its nt cos ive been overspending or shopping
HONEST!
butttttt

my roomate ahhh. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

my electricity bill is 400 per month! roar
and my INTERNET BILL is 900+++++++
WTF RIGHT
andddd now im feeling so shitting and i hope im not gonna die of a heartbreak.
(frm lack of spending money)
but thankfully....

daddy is sending me a parcel of maggi stuff! hehe
the stuff they DONT have here of cos!
andddddddddd since theyre in HK nw for some stuff,
he's getting me an LV wallet.
Hopefully he actually has time to buy it
hehehe

(: cant wait.

well that doesntactually solve my prob of brokeness.
but oh wells.
life jst gets worse each day eh? (:

heh.

ilu sam
thanks for everything
and sorry i was so dumb to say stooopid things to you sometimes.
ilu* still heh

awwwwwwwww reading sam's blog made me weep like a baby. (literally)

ilu* bbbbbbbbb.
thanks for everything and anythingggg.
(: heh.

and for trying so hard to mk me happy.
ilu*
and i cant wait to c u tonight!

more more more pics

//my hair was a mess. didnt you say curry-style??

//shit. im starting to be really curry.

Ok as promised.

altho this is only like.... 2 pics out of dnt-knw-how-many,

more will come.

patience is the mother of virtue ppl! (:

the color, you ask? for the indian in all of us. (:

okok
today started off shitty and ended lovelyyyyyyy (:

lets start with yday shall we??

ok.
TRIVIA NIGHT at Uni from 7-12am doesnt seem very appealing,
does it?
well youre right.
it wasnt.
buttttttttt the fun part of it (apart frm the actual trivia)
was the dressing up!
sam wore vik's curry stuff (pics will be posted up when received from SAMMMMMMMM *HINT*)
and i wore hyacinta's curry dress! (sari of cos.)
(:

yes.
anddddddd it was uncomfy- purely cos i tied a fucking sari MYSELF with minimal help and hence, it kept threatening my privacy by slipping an inch too low on my hips. heh.
wellllllllllll
but it was nice.
now i thank god i have no curry heritage.
(((((((((((((((((((((((:

anywayyyyys
our table was pretty shitty at trivia.
but it was soooooooooo fun
guessing stupid qns
esp the music ones like 'finish this lyrics' kind
and random qns we had NO IDEA existed.
oh wells.
FUN FUN.
very fun esp when raq was on our table!! (:
hes by far the funniest curry i knw.
and i tell you,
whats life without raq.
..........
exactly...

(:

anywayssssssss
sam was nice to me. esp nice.
cos i didnt feel like being close (Cos i felt utterly SICK seeing certain pple there. *coughDcough*)
two Ds actually. HAH.
go figure.
andddd he still didnt get mad or chuck a fit at me.
good boy sam (:
thats why i lurveeeeeeeee you babbbbbbbeh. (:

anywayyyyys
the sweetest thing frm sam was today.
i had to wake it bloody early for fucking hpkm project surveying in the city.
anddd so,
i left sam to slp while i dragged my arse out of bed to 'work' technically on a sat morning.
bad start? YES.
esp frm the longgggggg trivia night the previous day.
enough ranted,
back to my story.
(:

so i left w the grp to do our thing.
anddddddddddd baby the cutesy pie,
got up,
vacuumed and cleaned my room all neat
and PACKED.
even my desk which i havent used for a year plus cos' its been too full of shit.
and then he cleared the pile of shit clothes on the floor
and got all the hair and what not on the floor cleaned up!
anddddddddd the bed neatly done of cos.
AND AND AND he bought me lilies & chocs! (my favssssss of cos!)
andddddd he bought paper.
to many, this may seem trivial,
but this need for paper has compromised my studying habits
and note-taking,
purely cos' its too heavy to be carried ard without a car before,
and cos ive been too fuckin lazy to get it. heh.
andddddd all this,
he lay them on my NEAT bed
and left a note of love. (:

everything seems in order in my life (LITERALLY and PHYSICALLY. haha)
and i cant complain much.
of cos,
certain personal situations need to be sorted out asap
before i make the biggest mistake of my life.
but other than that,
HAH im good.

aft a long day standing ard,
beggin ppl to do our five min surveys
crucial for our degree (ok NOT that crucial) but anyways.
and getting rejected the most no. of times in ONE DAY
hahhahaha,
you'll feel a slight pinch of disappointment
and utter exhaustion.
and you'll never comprehend why lifes jst so shitty at times.
but then you retreat to a warm touch of cleanliness and in-place kinda mood.
to flowers of your liking which you've missed for quite some time from other non-deserving bfs,
to chocs you nv bought for so long cos the thought of it reminded you of either valentines day or christmas,
to things you need badly but nv had the time to get it and now youve got it right before you with no effort attempted.

you'll know you've been loved.

sam angel,
you've been the only reason this time in my life why i can smile to myself in my sillyness when im alone, studying or resting.
angry or sad.
i will still smile in knowledge that you're thinkin of me more than i can imagine.
and for the things you do
even the littlest ones,
sometimes i wonder how i could ever get by with just so little of you.
and each morning,
when i awake to your sms or call or picture on my cellphone,
i cannot help thinkin
god im so lucky.
how cld i for one second, or split second,
everrrrrrrrrrrrr think that i could never live without him.
(you knw who. but you shld also knw how glad i am that im not with him right now.)

you're irreplaceable baby.

life feels better. i think... (:

for those who skipped today's 8am lecture...
shame on you!!

ok la. im jokinggg.

but seriously...
after attending it,
i realised, OH MAN- my life is wayy better than i make it out to be.
i used to think i was like the shitties, most unluckiest piece of shit ever
with everything that could go wrong in my life.
but today,
the lecture was great.
and its abt refugees and SAN FRONTIERE!

yes yes
for all you close ones,
you'd knw why i even chose med in the first place....
SAN FRONTIERE!
and i was soooooo excited, that i talked to the lecturer Ben for half an hour after the lecture was over.
till craig hassed chased me away
hahahah.
(:

but im happyyyy.
and Ben's gonna help refer me to the org to help out in refugee/developing countries.
and let me jst say
that I CANT WAIT to graduate
and really help out in Albania and what not.
seriously,...
if my dream of being an internation health professional comes true....
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

diseased werld,
watch out for dr rach! (:

):

its hard to look at someone you love for support
only to get otherwise in return.
and STILL love that person unconditionally,
even tho technically-

1. your heart jst shattered into bits
2. you didnt get the support you thot you deserved.
3. you have to give up your morals/beliefs and everything you lived for.

butttttt i guess thats life
and after all the shits you step on,
you just learn to step over them
and if you miss,
jst wipe your shoes clean after that.(:

ilu* my baby.
sorry for this mess im in.

her

im sorry you tink im all that options you put out to me.

im nt all that.
and in case you dont knw,
that nickname was not for myself.
its for her.
dont be so quick to judge.

random sundayitis

sunday.
another day wasted with a late arvo waking.
ha.

gonnna eat jap food in the city
cos i got DE BIGGEST CRAVING last night for it
and it kept me up all night btw.

so yeah.
ok random.
darn. bye werld.

sweeeeeeeeeeet

my sweet escape.
you prolly cant read the words. but its says i.l.u (:
and ilu too

grey.

i am in absolutely no mood to smile

and pardon me for feeling like the werld is ending on me.

meg:
thanks for the email
i love you a lotttttt
wish you were here with me.
cheer up dear.
things could be so much worse.
right...?

and to sam:
a shout out to my darl
cos he's been putting up w my shitty behavior
and foul foul mood.
ive been pmsing you b
and im sorry.
ilu*
and i hope you knw its jst a bad badddddddddd time for me right now
but i'll get over it.
somehow.
):
stay beside me during this shitty time.
im sorry you have to witness it.

life jst alwaysssssssssss has a way of being shitty
and fucking itself up
when you THINK things have changed for the better.
it jst HAS TO.

and im my usual chronic depression.
when i grow up
and have kids of my own
i will tell them every single moment of my life that i was NOT happy
and let them see the need to change whatever needs changing
and avoid being like their useless mommy
and when its all over,
i wanna show them what ive become.

and i wont let them fall like i did.

we will never know.
-delilah.

can you love someone youve never met?

no,
seriously.

then how can you say you love God,
.... or a stillbirth-ed baby you lost.

how can you say you love at all?

my werld itself is an oxymoron.
it doesnt exist.

another mistake

my life is at a standstill

i can nv be truly happy,
or sane,
or self-forgiving
ever again.

im sorry delilah.

results day

//the sweetest pie.
the exam results are out.
so are the SPC project results.

ok first up.
SPC ROCKS MY SOCKS. HEHEH.
that is the shit that may actually help me pass 2nd yr.
WOOT.

thanks jeffleow, foo chuan tai, and of cos- joshchong.
for all the Mac-ness you guys did (which i have NO CLUE wtf was going on)
for the play we did
and the preps and effort.
i wish i did enough for the grp on my part
but for whats worth-
you guys are a great bunch to work with.
gooooooo sporeans! buwahhahhaa*

andddddddddd as for the exam,
ok i did really shit.
buttttttttttt
at least i know i DID study thruout the 5 weeks break we had.
and i never slacked till i deserved to fail,
therefore,
im contented w what i got.
i hp evryone else did as expected.

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.