omgggggggosh

i think i'd break down at the airport.
im alr in the self-prep stage
where going home is actually becoming a mindboggle.
i dont think i'll know how to treat this you or that you at all.
well....
one can never be too sure of what they want.
and alike this situation,
im confused.
confused as can be.

i dont know if confiding in anyone will make a diference at all.
cus everyone wld tell me the same ting...
cliche as it may sound... you KNOW you too wld say that:
follow your heart
you cant go wrong
BLAH BLAH
and as true as it may be,
i beg to differ.

i really am confused.
i gues gg home means refitting back into hometown till i get back to melbourne again.
*sighs*
and by then, i'l be blogging abt how i reallyyyyy dont wanna go back there.
but till then,
i'll be pondering on one drastic change i wish i dint have to make.
its trivial to others,
but to me...
i would rate it a supernovaaaaaa.
it's bigger and closer to my heart then it'll ever get.
and its soo typical of me to regret what i chose.
so...
its really down to choice.

i know what i want,
but sometimes...
i just cant bring myself to choose it.
its either being happy PRETENDING it doesnt matter what others want or care abt,
OR
being with someone to MAKE them happy and everyone else cares abt.
well...
i realyyyyyyyyyy think i'll never make that choice.
not till im old and saggy and spilling cellulite is evolating outta my belly,
will i choose between you.

wld it matter??

i think its wicked jst imagining the things i'd get to do when i get home on 15th dec
and i cant wait for sarah jie to come here to visit me next thursday.
:)
missing all in spore.
i wish i had changed everything bout what i chose in melbourne.
den maybe i wouldnt worry so much about B.
wells.
to come to think of it,
i wonder how weird me n belly came up with sucha nickname for him.
hmmms.
.........
started off with soyabean
then the chinese version of that drink...
then the idea that its consumed during the morning.
LOL
belly...
we got the weirdesttttt ideas.
:) love ya and missing you like crazeeeee love.

:l
last nite i think i was at de peak of my disappointmt when i realised youre not coming.
despite all the efforts,
all the intentions well meant
and the preparation and fixing of furniture so u'd have a gd stay,
i really wanted to see you.
just that way i rembrd u.
but... i guess it was wishful thinking to hope you'd come here.
wells..
i still love you mei, nonetheless.
and i'll def meet u in spore okie dearS?? :)
mwahhhhs*
sincerely yours girl.
-------------------------------------
i think i melted to see your sms on my phone last nite.
to SINCERELY think you meant every word you sent.
and to still believe i'd see you FIRST at the airport.
i really hope you know that it doesnt tk me a whole year to just simply forget whatever we had.
and for what its worth,
thank you for trying to always cheer me up
even if its not intentionally.
but overall..
you stil did.
and i think you're lovely as it already is.
:)
lovelovelovelovelove.
you're one of the few reasons im dying to run home
now.
have i told you lately that i love you?
have i told you there's no one else above you??

hahahah,.

today is sweet

yay.
just connected my hse phoneline.
soooo i can start calling pple with the callin card shit thingy soon.
veryyyyyyyy soon.
meg and all is on my list! :)

ohhh
yes.
today's shopping is done!
-amanda's bday gift
-daddys hugo boss bday gift
-austPOST to send daddys gift
-a house cordless fone!
-temporary prepaid internet
-cards
-wrappers! (loads of it)
etc etc

hahahha had to lug all of it home.
lol.
and while its worth,
IM UNDERBALANCED pup
-innocent eyes-
hahahhah lol
kk gonna watch a movie now!
SAW 2.
whee hope its better than the first.
pukes-

anddddddd......
gotta clean up the hse for amanda's party tmr.
hopefully its sane.
i meannnnn SANE.
:S

OPS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH P!!!!
babe of all.
love ya.
hope u even get to read this.

pouts-

PRINCESS POUTS*
i just dont know whats up with you
(A.)
its so frustrating even TRYING to live with you or even understand you.
its annoying to bother
but i kNOW how much you wanna spend the rest of Uni life under the same roof with me.
and im flattered.
trulyyy honored.
but i cannottttttt tahan you stepping into my place,
creating a DISillusionment of my house,
rearranging every furniture in my livin room
and overall...
just being a real arse.

no,
seriously.

if its so hard to be nice
at least keep your comments to yourself.
and dwell yourself in it.
thank you very much.

ERGHS
woman.
(irony?)
i cant understand our own species sometimes.
never quite got ard to accept their perplexity.
lol.
:(

goshhhh

exams r officially over.
and thank god im not regretting any sh*ts
i mean..
sure i do wished i dint slack for math b.
given it was the most terrible shit ever.
but im glad its all ova and done with.

for the record...
buildin and equipping a totally UNFURNISHED house is not too bad.
thanks to the indos :)
to TAYLORS Indo gang,
thanks lot yo.
(heeeeeheeeee)
for helping out with the shopping and carrying luggs of sh*t home to CLAYTON (zone 2!!!)
thanks for accompanying me when im lonely in friggin zone 2 and for being there all the time,
a special special shoutout to:::
-Mono
-Anding (aladin)
-Ilham
-Rusdi
-steven

:) thanks lots guys,
a milion kisses and hugggggggggs *squueeeeeeeezes*
:)
and to meg and marilyn,
my home is welcome to you guys to come melb and stay in
at NO extra cost! (except for your unlimited shoppng sprees i mUST add)
hahahahha
jk jk.
just dotn mind the untidyness and mundaneness
hahah and the obscurity of the back yard i hafnt quite gotten the will to shave.
lol
:))))

to all...
good luck for our exams results on the 9th and offer letters to uni on the 12th.
maybe hugs and love.
wishing you guys all the best.
:) love love.

update!!!

I am freaked.
today is my final paper.
S.Maths.
its not the best at all.
and i need at least a 90% for this to get into Med.
and in the trial exams, i got a 78%
(*#U%$)W()(&)^*_$W)((
okok.
im jst pissed i dint do well enuff.
and as for my arse im gonna drown,
ohhh pls pray for me.
i need this so bad.

ohh im moving house tmr mornign!!!
YAY.
another thing to f- up.
sighs...
this life is so bland.
:(
pouts***

its cruel the way you judge me...

okok updates for the late week.
:)
went to Elwood. absolutely a gorgeous beach.
:) with Kobe (pronounced as coby)
:D anyways... and then he came to the city to pick me up cus he was changing his car.
so... then... we went to makan makan at La Porchetta
the bestest italian restaurant around :)
then we went ard,
got lost.
god knows where.
but it was a sweet losting.
lol

3 exams to go.
i am not ready for chem
and defff not for math B.
its weird im saying this...
but im soooo on for physics.
tho i consistently fail it...
i really wanna get it outta my chest.
suffocating
and
intoxicating.
lol.

i think im gonna mug now.
to all back home...
I M COMING SOON.
:) love werld.

*p.s.kobe is this china guy with the cutest slang and hottest ideas :P
buttttt. no worries. (i knw what ure tinking)
im his lil mei.
:)

i get weak

i had the weirdest most incomprehensible dream yday.
somestuffs about a WEIRD church funfair
and all that.
andddddd Zi yan was there (one of my cuzzin)
and i was in deepsh*t
and so was my dad
and he helped me
andddddddd I DONT KNOW wtf im ranting on abt.
but mannnn was it weird.
anyhoww..
i dont know whyyy but we kinda liked each other.
hahah well not THAT.
but we havent talked or seen each other in like 4 yrs??
hes on my mum's side thats why.
andddd even if we did meet,
we wldnt talk.
WHOA.
i just realised thats so gay.
:S

kk.
yday was English Final Exams.
lemme BOLD it up for you.
FINAL exam.
*ops-
there goes all my english stuffs.
:)))))
tmr is math A. well thats my OK subj.
i gotta mug till i bleed for physics!!!
i cant keep getting 60s if i want med sch.
discipline, rachel.
okkkk gtg.
and SURPRISE RUS! :)

lol. -inside jokes nv get old.

OH WAIT.
did i ever mention how annoying the summer flies can get???
they dont fly ard like sporean flies.
here theyre slow and deadly.
they stick onto your skin till u whackkkk them
and fer some retarded reason,
they DONT die.
:(
i wish i was in spore.
the heat here is unbearable and the flies doesnt compliment the weather.
lol.
okok. byeeeeeeeee