omgggggggosh

i think i'd break down at the airport.
im alr in the self-prep stage
where going home is actually becoming a mindboggle.
i dont think i'll know how to treat this you or that you at all.
well....
one can never be too sure of what they want.
and alike this situation,
im confused.
confused as can be.

i dont know if confiding in anyone will make a diference at all.
cus everyone wld tell me the same ting...
cliche as it may sound... you KNOW you too wld say that:
follow your heart
you cant go wrong
BLAH BLAH
and as true as it may be,
i beg to differ.

i really am confused.
i gues gg home means refitting back into hometown till i get back to melbourne again.
*sighs*
and by then, i'l be blogging abt how i reallyyyyy dont wanna go back there.
but till then,
i'll be pondering on one drastic change i wish i dint have to make.
its trivial to others,
but to me...
i would rate it a supernovaaaaaa.
it's bigger and closer to my heart then it'll ever get.
and its soo typical of me to regret what i chose.
so...
its really down to choice.

i know what i want,
but sometimes...
i just cant bring myself to choose it.
its either being happy PRETENDING it doesnt matter what others want or care abt,
OR
being with someone to MAKE them happy and everyone else cares abt.
well...
i realyyyyyyyyyy think i'll never make that choice.
not till im old and saggy and spilling cellulite is evolating outta my belly,
will i choose between you.