you dont knw what it feels like to be homeless.
and have lawyers stand in front of ur door to keep intruders out and me in.

and til then,
dont say things will get better. REALLY.

ive resorted to NOT studying and pouring my eyes out on Greys Anatomy.
dear GOD it is addictive
and i slept at like 6 am from all this addiction. MAN IT IS TERRIBLE.
i dream of it, i CRAVE to be it, and i want Mcdreamy! IN HIS REAL LIFE DoCTOR FORM (how ironic eh?) lol

no, really.

my bb keith is of cos, the love of my life,
but MCDREAMY MAN. if he was really a doc in real life, MAN WILL HE BE JUMPED.

now i knw fully what love is.what an engagement is. and what it feels like to be in a commited, long-distance rship.

its not about TOTAL disconnection from other male frens etc etc
cos temptation is inevitable. its a part of life and distractions.
you will ALWAYS meet temptations and sometimes, u become part of it.
buttttt the impt part is to accept that
and chose otherwise.

and i did that yday.
i met J the ex-nieghbour/bf who cheated on me with his FIANCE. anyways
in short
i broke out of that loop
and yday i was tipsy on wine
and encountered my worst nightmare- HIM.
and honestly, i COULDVE done sth wrong
but i didnt.

i chose not to.
for once, im happy when i wake up
and for you bb- HAPPY ANNIVERSARY DARLING.
i chose u. u chose me. and thats all that we need. for now.(: