STUDY STTU STTUUUDY

procrastination is like an overdose of a bad, badddd drug.

i feel entrapped in its merciless side efffects
and the thought of gettin off it is nauseating.

so all who are motivated enough to study thru out their lives
and engage in any form of social injustice to thyself,
pls inspire me.

and to think of all the shit i get when i dont do well.

i HAVE to get out of bed.

(':

fri-

watched the dvd "idiocracy" STUPIDEST MOVIE EVER
(yah well. hence)

then ate yummylicious asian dinner frm Choi Palace
(:

sat-

back to 2 minute noodlessssss.
then blog whoring.

mannn reading xinyieeee's blog (SD exclusive!)
reminded me of IJ days,
alike evry other IJ girls' blog.
no seriously!

well shant mention how or why i felt a wave of nostalgia-
but i did anyhow.
and its a warm feeling-
a more, not-so-plain- rship feeling i used to get.
a somewhat exciting kinda rush feeling

ahhh hard to explain.
point is,
tho im feeling shitty abt exams and what not,
i read belly's blog,
xy's blog,
linnnn's blog,
(not so much stef's cos she doesnt sound very happy ): )
and get extremelyyyyyyy happy for all of them

even those i havent spoken to in a while.

but the thoughts are there
and the longing to hang out and see them all is there.
the thought of returning home to them is swell.
and i cant help tryin not to tear each time.

i will study so hard
jst to pass and hurry on home to my lovelies.

i will.

i hate 1st years

i cannot believe how fucking annoying first yr meddies are.

im in the glasgow room now TRYING to fucking study

while they slowly piss me off.

*hypertensionnnnnnnn*

to destress myself.

i shall blog some pics frm sam's mac! (:

i shld be studying.

yes i shld be. but here are some last preclinical year pics

courtesy of kerf vik n daryl.

i ruined one of them with my paint editing of the generalisations of med ppl when it comes to lecture theatre sitting arrangemts.

haa its like an unspoken social contract to sit at the same spot thruout these 2 years.

ilu guys!

oh yes and another good news to distract me frm my work-

my next year placemt is CABRINI!

woooooots!

i'd hate to see sad faces of those who got into Frankston, dandy or some weirdo place u really didnt wanna go.

but i really do hope everyone has equal access to clinical skills learning no matter what hospital they're in.

(:

sighs when she realises how soon exams are.

i am quite contented doing my daily webwhoring
but the self-realisation that -no, i'm NOT very up-to-date with my studying as i shld be,
i quickly decided to blog this short one
and go.

church today was as normal.
daddy called and i was cheered up by his lameeeeeest jokes.
(i tel u- hes the funniest)

ohhhh did i tell u today is f*ckin 36degrees or more? hehe
its shit hot la. i just COULDNT study.
its lk.. EW!

anyhoots.
daddy wants me to find a new place. yes i still cant find a nice one.
and he says sarah's engaged.
im happy she's found someone (again)
tho i wish she'd stick w her job now.

its kinda conflicted- the emotions.
happy for her yet unsettled- wondering if this is the REAL one.
but ohwell i guess im jst being a typical sister-
only wanting the best for her.

ok enuf mooshy stuffs.

jst stressed over... dont knw where to start studying for VIA and EOY exams.

im really screwed, arent it?
plus i got a new nanny job for an autistic child who's just so gorgeous i swear! (:

but STILL.
highly underpaid and need to work more. boooo.
how did i get into sucha mes.
):

no more assignments

OHGOOOOOOOOOSH.
the sweet sweet smell of No Ass-ignments is killin' me! (:

okayyy heres how my mini break went today-

1. skipped lectures all of today (sweeeeeeeet)
2.went to watch the angeline jolie (who is ano) movie called A mighty Heart
(it was overrated. so dont watch it unless u like terrorism topics and a very skinny angelina.)
3. ate at Spicy fish in Glen Waverley.
(its oooookay. seriously stick to western food in aust. hahas)
4. came home & slept 5 hours straight.

yes so if u do the math-
i slept frm 7pm till 12am.
got up- and here i am nw. im so damn tired.
but i cant stop typing.
its seriously like sm medical syndrome now.
i'd say nerdy medical student syndrome: Defined as the need to constantly engage in nerdy activities like typing assignments, drawing anatomy (and what not, right?)

haaaaaaaaaa.
ok CLEARLY the stress hasnt worn out tho portfolio is all GONE (:
oh wait. i knw why-
the f*ckin exam.
-pout.

ohhhhh going for a nanny interview tmr at like 10am.
SHITOMAN.
so much for sleepin man. ):

stronger. rght?

sry to boredom thee,
but thy tears are dryin'.
(:

jst a shout out to sameh s farah.
my boyyyyyyyy.

sry we argue
sry i shout
sry you need to do work
sry we're sad.
sry we fight.

but iluuuuuuuu* my shexxxy shexxxxxxxy one.
imu*
and i hope u get ur work done asap.

mwahhhhhhhs* bbbbbbbbb.

what more.

belly i keep updating myself with ur blog
and that makes me sooooo happy to see you sooo happy with peterpan
(:

i guess we both never thot it wld be this good eh!!
(good work with the commitment-in-ns part! hee)
misses + kisses.
hope to hear frm u soon dear.
oh yes, and mambo of cos!!!
-----------------

everyone complains abt assignments.
med literally has like a build up of 6 or some (including additional pieces)
for our portfolio.

ALL DUE TMR.
woots.

but think of it logically,
med students NEED a fucking portfolio in this shitty life
and if we didnt have a course dateline for it,
when we need to present it to whoever in the future...
we're gonna have fuckking - 763875324 hours to do it (thats a negative in front of the numbers btw.)
hahha

yeshhh.
so ppl
if u must complain-
think of those who dont have a printer, or those who need to work 20 hrs a week,
or those with freaking PCL work tat doesnt freaking go thru the email!! (hint me hint)
and lotsa other problems that even i cant possible imagine.

ok im not trying to be a real bitch to all with unfinished work here,
but im bored of doing my portfolio compilation
and im here to comfort myself that its gonna be ok.

OKKKKKAYYYYYY *breatheeeeeeeees*

peaceout werld.
rach is gonna bake a fudge cake for the last PCL of my life!!! ):

i hate our friday pcl tutor but still...
its lk the ABSOLUTE last tute of our lives!
no more classes like THIS-
where its fun
and everyone's laughing
and eating during tute
and rolling eyes at tutor.

next yr its gonna be alllll hospital based.
in fact, OMG
we wont even be in the CMHSE med building anymore!

OMGOSH
i just realised how much i'll miss uni.
(i sseriously nv tot i'd ever say that)

(: loveeeeeeeee to all meddies.
ive fallen in love with everyone of you lilll nerdies!
(:

nerdify me!

pics for the livin'.

sm nerdy. (esp the one where im STUDYING in bed. ewww)

but u get my point.

one & only

i am feeling nostalgic
and extremely luckyyy today.

im at HOME on a friday night.
had to miss out on Anju's 21st cos of financial situations
(and to exacerbate the issue, i had to quit my telesales job. BOO)
anyhooooooow,
i was doing my CPP report. (fucking )(&#*)(*#*&^$%&)
and i decided to facebookwhore.
YES. (i am THAT focused)

andddd i saw linn's tag.
(which made me smile to myself. which looks real dumb but only YOU knw. hah)
then i went to her profile & saw her status thingy.
(which made me smile so wide, God forbid- i cried myself silly)

i miss a lot of ppl yes.
meggggg,
my cousin ian dan and jem ALOTTTT,
SD exclusives,
IJians,
josh gerk mo
and who not.

but we always say
i missssss you! i loveeeee you babe.
etc etc etc and the usual 'meet up soon' line i repeat ever so much to convince myself
that yes- ppl still rembr me.

right.
they knw me as 'binny lah! the funny weird one. always blur. sucks at physics (if you must mention). the doctor, that one lah!"

NOW HONESTLY-
who hasnt used that description of me when some random IJ girl or church person askes "who's she?"

righto.
so nw that ive established that,
i'll get to my main point.

no one gets as excited or sincerely happy
to get my letter, receive my present (all the damn way from sg), or what not,
the way linn does.

i rembr we were (and areeeeee) inseparable in IJ.
( i swear you cldnt pay a sniper enough to shoot us down (: )
and even toilet-whoring was a winner- sitting on top of those platform thingys in the st gabriel's toilets.
(HAH. to miss that awful HIGHER-fucking-CHINESE class we had)
and ofcos-
the 'raising-of-belts-till-our-breasts' when Ms Jo Teo spots check our belts in the corridors.
(we were rebels, werent we.)
oh oh oh! mr eric tan's physics class
where sam thot i was the bimbo-est girl ard.
(i wasnt btw. bimbos dont go med sch..... ...... THEY DONT OK.)
heh.
and the letter writin (every ten minutes, i swear) even though we sat "two miles" frm each other (right)
oh oh oh
and the mass on fridays we used to have in the gym.
OHH MAN the peace be with you part
was revoltingly .... sweeeeeeeeeet! (frm all the jostling and kneeding into my breasts frm hurried IJians trying to wish each other world peace.)
ahhh the smell of sweat- no wait, GLOW- after PE
and still locking hands to walk back to class (reminder: sweatyish arms)
as if we would fall and die if we let go.
(to come to tink of it- we probably would have died without each other)

we were perfect, werent we.

every IJ girl was perfect with the other-
it didnt matter how well or how long they knew each other.
we loved.

im sure of it.

and i knw every IJian who reads this will start bloggin abt their own IJ experience
and the lovelies they've became inseparable with.
and we should.
cos' as stooopid as i wish this doesnt sound-
feelings must be voiced sometimes to be felt.
(ironic. yet true)
anddd out of the hundreds of ppl i cld probably pick to write a letter to-
its the ones who really love you
tht you knw its worth the writing and inconvenience of getting to a post office in the shitty weather
and for all this yabbering ive done-
i applaud u for reading thus far
and to stop
cos i got to get back to CPP report-
and cos' no amount of words cld describe the feeling im gettng right nw.

one day,
i'll be a doctor. (i hopeee)
and you'll be a literature professor or lawyer (whichever you choose)
and we'll get married (as much as ilu and wld loveee to get married TO YOu, im afraid we'll marry a proper guy. hahahha)
and we'll have 4358724 babies (cute ones pls. hah)
you'll be the godma of one of my countless kids. (hehehe i insist!)
and i'll be the happiest person alive.

and we'll all grow into different people, in different places (damn australia!),
with different environments-
and we'll grow old.
(the wrinkles are alr starting to bloom damn it!)
but i'll love you.

i will (:

and till then, when im old and saggy,
i'll be missing you.

(:

the jammed.

i used to tink my life was simply- sad.

then i watched The Jammed- an australian production abt sex trafficking.
i didnt even knw that aust is the top 10 trafficking country.

like... WTF?!?!/

Half the movie was actual non-censored sex scenes of rape
and the disempowering moments
that scarred my memory.
for life.

and i tink
i am so f*cklucky to be me.
THANK GOD.
things cld get so much worse for me.
ETC ETC

but then
i start facebookwhoring
and see countless pics of IJ girls,
SUCCESSFUL models,
hotttttttttt as,
with everything they got.
and bcos im their friends- i knw how happy they are inside and out-
and then i fall back into my
life is sad shit.

no ones ever gonna be contented with anything they got-
or want to have.

and i guess
thattttttttts so crappy.
but those of u with boredom and time-
watch The Jammed.
it is soooo fucking sad

and so, a shoutout to F.- my friend and neighbour:

commercial exploitation of sex is NOT the way to go.
pls dont undermine its significance and morale.
you shld knw,
coming frm ur religious backgrd-
for heaven's sake (LITERALLY heaven)
start acting like one.

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

finally.

i am released of the drag and degradation of being treated like utter sh*t.

yes ppl-
i wasn't patient enough to let myself be called a f*cker for wanting to work
and be independent for once.

):

but to tink of it-
i can concentrate on my studies.

im gonna interview for SCOPE the disability centre.
at least its of my interest
besides. im a med student.
i need to dvlp these skills. (:

and for now- to study anatomy.

and rach is a happy girl again.

aint it.

i miss gerk.

received a letter frm him today
was waiting like... FOREVER to get it.
and i did.
and it put a smile on my face jst tinkin bout how im nt forgotten.

and im glad im going home to sg soon.
cos as much as i complain abt it
and totally dig melb more,
buttttt home's where the heart is,
and my lovelies are allll ther. (wellllll mostly)
hah.

i hate work.
i hate telemarketing.
all those ranting on about studying like a b*tch,
PLEASE consider those who have to study AND work everyday of the fucking week.
its not fun- even the pay cant account for the hours.
and i have to say-
those who jst have anatomy, physiology, pharmacology and what to study for the exam-
LUCKY YOU.
im still worried abt having sales to keep my job.

but then gerk's letta jst kinda mixes the emotions
and gets me hyped up to finish med2042 and get my arse back home.
and i get all emo wishin i didnt evn start med here so im nt separated frm my lovessss.
but its my dream.
and they always believed in me.

its funny you knw,
how one moment you feel like the luckiest piece of shit in the werld for friends like gerkkk
and then the next-
you're tryin to figure this life.

thats jst life
aint it.

desperate call for CPP essays

someone who has cpp essays for samples,
pls send to me @ rcbin1@student.monash.edu plssssssss.
im dying and i cant do any shit.

):

not like theres not enuf assignmts to finish-
i still gotta work everyday. pffffffft.

i hate this.
bleahhh.

and yet i cant wait for the exams to come and goooo.
(: the joy.

bleahhhs. shitness of selfishity.hah

some ppl have no cow sense.

thats what my mom would say if she was here.

and i hate to think im selfish.
but i am.
and im working my arse off for this.

im REAL buwahahhaa

is it me
or does telemarketing suck shit.

i swear.
today- im officially a telemarketer (according to good ol' craig the manager)
cos' sm1 called me a bitch on the phone.

and until you've been called every single vulgarity in the dictionary,
youre not a REAL telemarketer.

and today-
it aced itself.
well im pondering the pride i shld take in being this REAL. hahs.

and not to mention,
i have only made 10 sales. need 50/week in total to stay in the team.
and ive only got tmr n sat left.
holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits.

):

grey for sadness

i lost my atm card.
sm1 pls pity rachie now.

nt like the thief would get much frm it tho. (: hehe
but the point is-
i need it,
wtf will i live on for the next 2 weeks right?!?! FUCKING HELL LA. cb!

): TSK.

anyhooots,
got my 2nd shift at work today
so wishing its over.
):

i hate telesales.
i've been called mofo, fucker,
and what not by the random ppl i called.

SNIFF.
am i that dislikable?!?!?

i want that bag. that wallet. that mac. erghhh

it seems like im demanding
and neverrrrrr contented.

i find myself checking the Mac, Chanel, LV, (you get my drift) websites
and wanting everything.

and i start the telesales job tmr at 4.30pm.
wish me luck

i can bearly rembr why im doing this.

new job!

YAY

today's interview for the call centre went pretty well
and i hope
i dont get cheated/ totally ripped ! by pple again.

the cashier job underpays (belowwwwwwww minimal wage)
and the initial pay they promised was lowered without warnin.
so they lied. big whoop.

andddddddddd im over that job.
sick of veg alr. hah.

andddddd this new job pays really well.
as in,
enough to pay off some 'debts' and get my mummy sth nice. (:

YAY.
starting work on wed.
and i cant cant wait. (:

an altered state of mood.

is it me
or am i really depressed?

sometimes
i feel like people are moving on faster than usual.

and i beg to differ.