this cant be more perfect-

//NANAAAAAAAAA my werldddd //ian my older cousinnnnnn (:

//beck me UNCLEMIKE (godpa too) danielle
ARGHHHH
i wanna be a nun!

Pictures from Amanda's Bday (:

//daddy helping amanda cut her icecream cake!! (its little mermaid) //becks sa me. -inseparable-

Yday (saturday) was amanda's 3rd birthday!
soooo family came over.
anyhoooow.
today im going to Centre Point w becky n jason
and meet linn n stef after that. (:

cant wait.
ohhhh
and one GOOD NEWSSSSSSSSS!
Jason proposed to Becky last night.
(:(:(:(:(:

i guess ill be an aunty yet again.
sigh but she'll be in US more! that means EVEN LESS of becky doodles.
sighhhhhhhhhhh
why do we have to age so quick.
wasnt it jst yday when we still played with barbies and pollypocketS?
I DONT WANNA GROW OLD WITHOUT MY SISTERSSSSSSS.
both are engaged now. WHAT ABT ME???
leave me in the corners of melb to die, why dont you.

im a pale pink now.
no more glow in me.
seriously-
or maybe the glow jst wasnt there.

pixies

//me n elicia kate
//laura n i
//the bday girl amanda and eli //delia n i.(she was acting like a model btw)

massive update.

//the 3 sisters. for life.

//this pic is specially for dim. (Mr. Big-To be with you)
//jason sa beck me flor (ice cold beer)

//becky n jason. in karaoke!

//Beck jason me FUCK THE SPECS OK.
//Sentosa- the islander life
//keith in Ice Cold Beer-dart comp!
//becky n i. in Ice Cold Beer.

since its still xmas,
lets be nice and settle for these miserly pics for now (:

ok a quick update of the week (not in order)!
-Wednesday: shopping at vivocity then Ubin Seafood in 6thAve.
awesoooooome food: crayfish prawns lotsa chilli etc etc heh.
-Ice Cold Beer on Thursday : was fun. lotsa beer and darts. heh. BUUUTTT i had conjunctivitis in my left eye.
sooooo most of the pics my eye a bit chachat oggayyy.
-friday: shopping, then visited nana in cashew hgts.
then.... KARAOKE! in partyworld. uberrrr fun. frm 9pm till 3.30AM.
how fun is that.
with lotsa old school chinese songs + oldies + jason's time kinda songs.
hehehe. (:(:(:
-today (sat): AMANDA's bday!! (: happy bday honeyyyy bunnnnny.
my lilllll sis tht one!

special entry for dimmy!

Dearest Dmitri Zartaiski,

Elllllooooooooooooo my love.
its been a longggggggg time and i misssss you alot.
i'll be home again in melb on 20th feb and im already counting down.
now, theres not much in sg left for me
and i jst cant wait to get back with youuuuuuu baby.

we'll...
-Go Kart
-Play TENNIS ONLY. hahah
-shopshopshop at chaddy or wherever.
-eat at that smorgies (or whatever it is) place you like.
-STUDY at hargrave tog.
-watch dvds on weekends and movies on tuesdays
-everything everything.
(:(:(:

anyhooooow,
i love you alot alot.
and i hope youre still sd in melb. wahahhaha.
mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

-rachs-

pouty wouty.

im at cashew heights blogging.
so there wont be pics. darn.

i was glancing thru my email jst yday
and i realised that i have an email frm B.
3 years, 5 months ago.
and i thought- OMGGG thats how long ago we DIDNT have.
yes, sucks to be me.

anyhooow,
i read it once more, as if to reassure myself of a life that didnt exist.
and i deleted it.
and then i had a dream about B. last night (damn that jinx)
anddddd i got a msg while i was asleep- yes you guessed it- from him!! ):

it was a weird msg.
cos' thats the 2nd msg in his entire life that he actually initiated
(instead of the usual forced-to-reply kinda thing)
and i replied Goodnight.
With the least expression or even a hint of victory.
And so, today, you will have a shoutout- not a good one tho-
in hope you'll not try to do your thing again.

B.:::
B, this is gona be a quick one for you-
i hope you dont take a single step into my life
if youre not planning to stay.
cos' its been god-knows how long since we've tried to work smth out
and heaven knws, I've tried.
and if its cos' of soreness of losing that you're pretending to try all over again,
its not working.
yes, you did get me a lil edgey the whole day,
and you got me thinking of another motive you might have for msgin me like that,
but i cant keep doing this for you-
leaving every guy i date cos' i wish theres a chance for us.
using ppl to try to forget you.
sending you cards and presents and letters that you prolly forgot about.
calling you on your bday even tho you alwyas hang up one sec later.
trying to convince you that i can be tht everything to you.

but you see, im not anymore.
i WAS- yes i really was.
but no more.
im not the one you wana msg and hope i'll still be waiting ard for you.
im nt the one you'd want to ride the town with on your bike- i'd rather walk.
im nt the one you show to others when youre single and hope they'll look up to you somehow.
no no.
im not that dumb girl anymore.
to let you use me.
and hope i'll stick ard somemore.

thankyew for the sweetness.
this is one in a million.
but use it on someone who's like you- one in a million.
worthy of your efforts- like the time you felt i was like becky.not now

Christmas day at cousin's.

//me n godma! //me n NANa- my werld.
//me n daddy!!!

had fun over at cuzzie's place at Bishan. aka my Godparents' place.
ohhh had nice nice foooood.
DAMN FORGOT TO TAKE PICS OF THE FOOD.
anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
they made the BESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

1. Devils curry
2. Hot fry
3. shepherds pie
4. roast turkey (binny style)
5. DAMN HOT CHILLI PRAWNS.
6. cheese ball (another secret recipe.haha)
7. Rendang. shioK!!
ETC ETC.
basically- i alwyas think they are the best cooks aliveee (yes better than jamie oliver. tsktsk)

anyhoooow,
met lionel as well. thanks for the gift dudeeeee!
lovedddddd it. i alwyas look forward to your gift each year
cos' i like its uniqueness. and somewhat self-preservation.
indeed, i will cherish.

and to all those playing Pictionary today-
eh, boys. dont be sore losers ok. the 3 sisters will BEAT YOU DOWN. (:
we won. yes yes. the ladies won.
*yawns* whats new. HEHEHE.
it was shittttttttt fun. and we all sat down (together with nana + all the aunts n uncles) to watch a video of all the kiddos when we're reallllllly young.
like... 13 yrs ago or more.
i was bearly 5 !!

becky was a mega nerd.
sarah with her bob hairstyle and cheesy dresses.
me- quiet and hiding in my own werld. (cute tho. hehe)
danielle and her LONGEST blonde hair.
ian with his chicken dance.
jeremy and his big specs, small red head. (:
michelle jumping ard incessantly.
marie leading the cohort.
mark clinging to daddy for sm random reason.
matthew monkeying around.
mark n jordan's fav game- Murder in the dark.

sighhh those were the days.
now i bearly knw half of them.
time- you cruel thing.

yet another story to tell.

//the Texas Ranger father. // (left to right:) The-cant-be-bothered, The-pouter-for-crying-out-loud & The-hunchback-retard.

// josh n gerd at churchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ilu* all!

i'll let the pictures do the talkin'.

//St Joseph's Church at Christmas time. (on the way to mass)
//the 3 skanky sisters (thats what i call us- jst look at our dressing. tsk)
//we claimed we knew better.
//Dinner!! (left to right:) keith ME!! nana becky jason
//keith and sarah. the other couple. (:
//sarah my 2nd eldest sis. n i.
------------------
its Christmas time again, and alike every other christmas',
i share it with the family- all of them.
Becky & her bf, sarah & her bf, ad, dad, nana, the 5 kiddos , my cousins and aunties uncles who never fail to throw in a wee bit o' gragroek style.
and the joy of the festive season,
is not in its gifts or cards, in wrappers or worth.
is not in presence or well-wishing.
but in sharing the faith- and spreading it with song and spirit.

i will miss becky if she doesnt come back fer xmas next yr
cos' she n jason have to rotate visiting each other's hometown-
thats what marriage means- to compromise and accomodate. (i sound like social studies. but ahhh what the hell)
i hope that i'll be first one there at becky and sarah's wedding.
i hope med wont bring me away from the only thing i have now- my family.
i miss mummy too- Merry christmas and thanks for the watch! its shoooo nice!

(:
i received a lot of wellwishes at christmas, esp frm the church pple.
thank you. sorry i had to rush off like that.):
and i guess thats jst the festive season in play-
cos' other times,
they're nowhere to be found.

and to Dimmy, my missin' goes to you dear:::
Merry Christmas to you.
i cannot tell you how sad i am to be in sg even tho home's where the heart is.
we'll start a new year together in melb when im back in feb
and we'll paint the town together ok?
i miss you. and i loveeeeeeeeeee you. always dimster (:

Its christmas eve + midnight mass at church.

//Becky & Jason. (he loves spore)
//me n my biggest sis- Becky. my soul.

//keith,sarah,jason(all the way frm L.A!!),becky. the couples.
//my everything- Daddy poop! //Christmas eve Dinner with the wholeeeeeeee family. my favourite time of the year.

Gotham

//this is my house in melbourne. thks dimmy boy for this pic (:
//this is my gragoek fwen leoN! (((((((((: //keith n sarah. DRUNKARDS

//now this is the first indication of drunkness. me n arun.

a brief update after all that ranting-
-cousin jeremy's bday was on 21st.
-Chris bday was yday (22nd) at Gotham.
clubbed there with sarah, keith. florence, arun, chris and leon!!!!
-collect framed jigsaw for sister's xmas gifts today at toa payoh. FUCK far.

we all make mistakes. lil ones. big ones.
unforgivable ones. white ones.
and having the intention to make one is already in itself, a great one.
clubbing is a social event where mistakes are bound to happen.
(nt coming frm experience ok)
but i tink you didnt mean those things you said.
and i wish you'd take it back.
its a serious thing to want to move into something greater when NONE of us are ready or willing (:

so take a step back when youre going to make a mistake,
and make sure you dont regret doing it if you believe you can change that into a choice, rather than a begotten fall.

leon::: i havent seen you in 3 yrs and time hasnt aged you at all.
you said i've changed and you question my being-
but im still the same person i was 10, 19 years ago.
my character is the same. let alone my looks.
i never changed- you jst didnt notice.
and i wish you well.
youre looking fly these days. music has brought you up well.
keep with the eurasian thingo. im blustered to be your gragroek sinorita. ( spell?)

(: you get what i mean.
take care. and dont msg me until YOU are sober, sweets

damn life

//this is my cuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzie. happy bday dude!!! (: //chris n i at Gotham. HAPPY BDAY TOO DUDE! (:
//belly n i. (:
//my cuzzie jeremy's 19th bday

FUCK. im having a VERY BAD xmas week.
sorry to those who get sick of reading these rants,
but theres a few fuckedup shit ppl that i HAVE to rant about-

1. the most obvious one- the gold-digger, the reproduction machine- my mompets (go figure) ):
ROAR! shes the major f*cker lak!
SPENDS incessantly- forgets to pay my rent!!!!!!!!! thanks to shopping fetish.
she thinks im spoilt or smth- with all my manicures and stuff.
but lil does she know- she's the worst one of all-
she ONLY WASHES her hair at a salon.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT???
erghhhhhhhhhhh. she's jealous of any girl near my dad- that includes his OWN DAUGHTERS.
she thinks shes the boss. fuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
i hateeeeeeeeeee the way she judges.
she obviously havent bought a mirror yet S:
she's IRRITATINGLY everywhere in my life.
she uses spies or smth to track me down wherever i am.
she NEVER fails to indirectly check my bags, banks and closet.
oh you see, she doesnt have a life.
she thinks im some chronic fagger with 12 ciggs in my mouth at one time.
shes a hoe. with no idea how to be a rolemodel or a fake mother.
she's got issues with social events that DIDNT invite her.
she's a bitch when it comes to money- stingy as always.
she tinks im a downright liar/loser/playgirl/slutty/useless/spendthrift.
all of which she is.
and i hate what she's trying to do to my family now.
she hates my nana. she tinks my nana deserves to be kicked out of the house jst cos she OLD. FUCK YOU. when youre old and dying, lemme jst CONVENIENTLY let you live off the street cos' currently, YOU tink old ppl jst dont deserve the best.
you tink nana's a nagger and to quote you, "shes intolerable. i bring her out all the time even if i dont want to"
THANKS FOR YOUR SYMPATHY but when she was in coma,
i dont rembr SOMEONE visiting her at all.
i was there 8 fucking days in a row to feed her, take care of her, wash her, change her nappy- everything!
but you come with your money scam and expect to be excused frm being a daughter to her.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOU.
i love my nana the most and i respect if you fuckoff frm her.
she prolly hates you as much as i do right now.
if you really like money so badly, take someone else's pls.

2. C. (you knw your initials i believe.)
my cousin left you for a very good reason-
she jst doesnt love you anymore.
so dont make her life hell. and let her go.
she's choking with you
and she needs space.
dont flirt ard with me to get thru to her.
its not working and im ashamed of you last night at Gotham.
you knew what you were doing
and you still did all those sick things.
a club with ppl half as bad as you is a club worthy of scrutiny.
you give love a bad name ):

3. NASH. the malay waiter at Gotham.
you piece of #$%^&*
how dare you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wanna castrate you so badly. its not even funny anymore.
ARGHHHH
you make me sickkkkkkkkkkk.
fancy preying on drunkards.
tsk. cheap shit.
find someone your own SIZE.

and of cos', my week has effectively been ruined.
thanks to these 3 retards and MANY OTHER DICKHEADS
who cldnt be more retarded.
yarggh. i hate this year's xmas.
im the daughter who lives in the fucking guestroom.
the one with no excuse to live the house when the babies are here
cos' i have no fuck life here.
i like cashew heights. not hazelpark.
i hate living far from civilisation- i lock myself up in the room all day
and leave in the early morning (2am plus)
jst cos no one notices that i was never home to begin with. tsk.
I HATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my financial status cos' i bought so much presents its disgusting.
and i have so many december babies in my family. FUCK.
and i have shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt transport here. NO CAR (cos my licence is not permitted here)
the driver alan's booked by THAT IDIOTTTTTTTTTTT.
my dad is NOT helpful cos' he's under that idiot's spell.
NO ONE CARES ANYMORE.
its like a crime wave in this house- everything's a mess and no one givashit anymore.

does no one notice that im SICK AND DYING again.
lost my voice, vomitting CONSTANTLY, no eating right, losing n gaining wgt inconsistently,
BAD MOOD EVERYDAY. ETC ETC ET-fucking-C.

lets jst say im having the worst xmas week ever.
and i wish it'd end soon.
i wish I'D end soon. ):

quickie update.

//this is the newton food we got! -stingray, fried carrot cake, sugarcane drinks!, satay.
//lionel and i in his car //xmas deco at plaza singapura

//me in my new mphosis top!! nice anot?? //me being the retard, laura jst cant be bothered

i'll let the pictures say it all-
-tuesday night: Newton Circus with Lionel
-wednesday night: family day!! (: NO MAMBO though... ):
-today (thurs): NTH PLANNED as yet. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. so bored.

TOO MANY PICS TO UPLOAD IN ONE POST! arggh.

//sarah n i. //my nephew!!! so cute right? mixed chinese + new zealand.

//The couple pouring the champaign //emily my stepsis, sarah n i!
//the couple during the speech
//the table photo!! isnt jolie sooooooo pretty in her dress??? (:
//sarah n i. (:

nice nice pictures!! (: