i need to rant. and this dead blog came to mind (:

i had a thought, because of all my random illnesses these days.
not that im dying (pls, dont celebrate yet)
but just out of pure ERGHH-ness.

If i died today,
I would have regretted not saying:
- to owen liu: ERGH THAT BIRD FACE GIRL IS NOT GD ENOUGH FOR U! and i am SO Much better than that. ERGH! its not my fault u have bad timing and a crazy ex-gf. *pouts*
if i died today, i'd regret everything i didnt say and SHLDVE said to u.

- to jason chau the "viet": thanks for everything b. altho we both know the expiry date is near, i just want to say it wldnt BE good riddence! and for all staying around throut my pain, thank you darl.
if i died today, you've made it feel so much better.

- to keith rod: oh god. this would be horrible. cos i miss and love u. always. sth's never change.
if i died today, i'd be watching you from above. (: -angel.

- to Ringo Chan the hongkie: BE A MAN and stop telling eveyrone abt ur tootsie lil shrimp of a girl. man up and live with it. it was good, but this isnt gonna get any better cos' shes a shrimp.
WOW. sucha hater today huh?
and last but NOT least (i assure u), if i died today, you'd be remembered as the guy who left me on a fucking post-it.

i miss keith. dito.

jewel his younger sis called me frm spore today
and i dont know
felt a wave of shame yet so much misses and love.

u think u knw sm1. and then u feel uve lost touch of the basic feelings u had.
but then again, one msg and it all comes running back.
and the love doesnt seem so forgotten anymore.
and when i come to think of it,
i hvnt had an actual decent rship where i felt i NEEDED to be in, since keith.

but after uve hurt a grazillion ppl on the way to 'recovery',
you feel thers no turning back.
cos if u do
u trample on those pple once more to get back to the start where everything was the way God made it to be.

and if i think more abt what cldve been- a simple wedding, lotsa kids, a simple RING
and all that was suddenly good enough for me.
i would realllly hate my life.

and if i tried to forget, i'd be lying. for the DAYS AND MONTHS (close to 6 mths alr btw) of reminscing and regret.
i feel like i finaly found someone- but he's not mine anymore.

and so emo, but to think i announced my engagement out loud.
i was the proudest bride u'd ever find.
well its over now.
and im dating someone called jason for 3 months now.
wow.
times have flown by.
with no remorse for me.

and i wish just once, i could wake with 6 months amnesia disorder and just continue where we left off.
just say yes, baby