i feel the tears

okayyyyyy.
my life plan in june jst came to a standstill.

i can almost feel the tears well up inside of me.

i can almost feel them fall.

ok so i thot being stubborn but WILLED will get me thru this.
apparently not.
God wont let the bad rest.
i see.

soooo now,
after worryin abt my exam day clashing with my flight,
and having to hide frm my parents in spore,
and having to plan to meet ppl fuckfar frm town jst in case i meet randoms,
etc etc
and finally getting a job to support all these expenses,
i dont have accomodation anymore.

alrightyyyy.
so lifes a big bitch when u need it to be nice.
and i can almost feel this whole plan to sneak home one big fat mistake.
one huge, fucked up plan.
and all thats left of it,
is me missing keith and all back there.
and for that teenie weenie bit of missin' left,
i WILL GET HOME EVEN IF IT KILLS ME.

there,
im nt so sad anymore.
finding accomodation for ONE MONTH is no joke.
i've got a lot to bear.
and to be in constant fear of seeing my parents is bad enough.

i dont deserve this shit.
i really honestly dont think that i deserve it!

-i worked for this.
-i studied long before i really needed to just so i have my work done before coming home.
-im tutoring nw jst to support all these expenses
-i didnt resort to illegal means to get this far
-im paying for my OWN ticket with my EARNED money.
-im a citizen, its my country too you knw.
-i wldve finished my exams in june!!!!!!!
-AND I HONESTLY MISS MY COUSINS ESP, ALL MY UK/SD CLUB FRENS AND ALL THAT. HOW ABOUT SCULLY/BELLY AND ALL MY FRENS.
(as much as my parents think its just keith keith keith. its not)

no one is in any right to tell me i dont belong home in MY HOLIDAYS.
its my life. my money. my exams. my grades. my work. my time and effort. MY FRIENDS. MY BOYFRIEND. my everything.
so let me be.
and get the fuck outta my way.