im pretty damn sure you're gone.

i watch you every second of the day.
i watch your every step.
i watch myself give up and give in.
i watch.
and i stopped for a moment,
to think to myself-
i've been watching what i wanted to see.
and its only thin air to me.
-i cant keep holding on.

today is LONG lectured day.
so many shit going on.
and what's worse-
a sip of microbiology (to me)
and im dying.
ethan the man thought it was pretty simple.
-stareeeeeeeees.
gosh* kill me.
i really cant force myself to comprehend all that
"something-something- phages" well,
technically, we're supposed to knw it alr.
and according to all the upper year studs,
they say that all this is supposedly new and nt taught before.
well HELLLOOOOOOOOOO -bimbo pose-
i dont see howww everyone else gets it
but me- period.
LEAVE ME, JUST LEAVE ME IN THE DARK.
roar!!

im more cheerful today,
that i decided to dress up nicely for school.
a long-matrix-lookalike black coat
black spag top
and skinny leg dark jeans.
ANDDDDD my favvvv brown wedged boots.
(:
im sucha b*tch. hahaha fancy self-praising my dress sense
on the ONE day that im actually happy. (:

ohhhyes.
i realise one thing: darrell is hot.
oh and of cos- evan too. (my yanjingtangguo)
but these are pple you'd NEVER notice out of the whole fac.
not cos they're disgusting or anythin like that,
but i've seen alot of locals and stuff,
but suddenly,
these ones look soooo good to have. -sniggers.
(im gonna ambush and kidnap them!)
well.
at least it DISTRACTS me frm others-you-knw-who,
who simply take up unnecessary memory capacity in my lil grey matter.
ohh ohhh ohhhh.
anddddd,
i cant believeeeee it!
kobe that sweet boy! came over and dropped off groceries at my front door at like almost 11+pm last night.
how sweet is that boy! (:
anddddd he came over again,
knockknock, (i appeared in shabs of a nightgown)
and stared at me for like 10 mins.
(no words spoken.notice!)
and just smiled and left.

-wow.
a rush of thoughts come to mind
even without a single word.
tho i wished i had opened my $%^&*()(*&^% mouth to thank him for the groceries.
ahh well.
this jst shows one thing: im incapable of self-care.
but...
he's jst not the one.