this weather is such a killjoy.

it was freaking sunny and perfect spring weather when i woke up.
soo i rushed up to meet johannes (megg's bro)
and POOF the wind came.
then now, which is.... 10pm exactly, ITS POURING.
aka. FUCKING FREEZIN.

erghs.
melbourne- really 4 seasons in 1 day.
fuck that saying, im keeping my winter jackets on.

im sorry. why am i so moody...
oh yes. the dog ate my rug. my nice rug in my room. a nice RED and orangish one.
EATEN.
that biatccch.
and as well, i need a new one. tsk. im poor. a poor poor child.

and i wanna move. but i cant be fucked.
lease is up and this place is small and ugly and near to prostitutes.
but moving is sucha bitch. esp when its cold.
FUCKKKKK.
dont knw if i shld stay or pay more for rent.
):
sad sad child.
i wish keiboy was here.
then he can help dismantle my furniture and sleep on the floors with me.
(i usually end up doing so jst cos my bed isnt fixed up. lol)

I WANT A NEW BEGINNING with everyone.
everything. meeting johannes today jst made me realise a lot of things.

1. hw is my family ever gonna accept keith. even when he did nth wrong to them or sarah or me.
2. hw will this rship ever last strong enough to last the distance?
3. hw can i get as close to mich hun and any other frens when meg is still officially my bestfren whom i havent talked to in a full year? hw?
4. i miss meg.
5. i havent even told her im engaged.
6. im always broke. i need a new life.
7. i wish keith never met sarah. (but then again.. i wldnt have met him. SIGH)
8. i tolerate too many ppl (aka hsemates like fina and ....) when i shouldnt.
9. im too independent for my age that i dont knw what youth means anymore.
10. i wanna start everything over from the start and live it right. make things right before i lose the chance too. and as cliche goes- you can never rewind time so dont cry over spilt milk, right?

well fuck that.
im delusional.
and im afraid now.