smokig and blogging,
you jst gotta know,
is when im uber stressed and need an outlet to BITCH.

ok i always thot i was a tolerating person regarding my hsemate.
but today (actually evreyday leading to today) is the end point.

i consider myself fortunate yet veyr independent.
i work late nights. and give up my social life on weekends jst to work and get that lilll bit of extra money to lead a self-sustainable life.
i can barely afford to have 3 meals a day.
honestly,
i eat ONE full meal (WHICH I COOK AT HOME)
and on weekdays i eat sandwiches (WHICH I MAKE AT HOME TOO) at cabrini.
thats cos i jst cant afford to live otherwise.

i work so hard to pay my alr-high-bills
and there she goes,
BLOWDRYING HER BODY when shes cold.
bad enugh tht she doesnt OFF her heater at alllll thruout the night
but BLOWDRYING HER BODY THRUOUT THE DAY AND NIGHT is on the edge of tolerable.
i cant stop having nightmares of my electricity bill.
i had to wait outside my own place today while she BLOWDRIES herself. 15 mins you knw. of standing in the cold cos shes cold. AND IM NT, OUTSIDE?????

you may think its not a big deal.
but ive had experiences with 600bucks bill before. ITS A NIGHTMARE.

i dont wanna whine. im sorry. but im abt to scream at her.

i work till 4am most shifts
and have to wake up at 6am to go to alfred hospital lectures and tutes.
im trying not to be a bitch.
but my skin is shit, my eyebags are disgusting and im losin wgt (i shldnt complain but i am cos i got stretchmarks now. tsk)
my left arm has gotten a tiny clot and both arms and legs have muscle aches.

i spent endless amt of money in the past buying red n black decorative stuff for my hse to mk it look presentable.
AND I TRY TO.
but she jst dumps al her project stuff on the dining table and kitchen and shoves my nice expensive decorations to the corner.
i clean all the dirty pots and plates that i DONT USE and everytime i finish drying them,
she uses another.
its ok. BUT FUCKING CLEAR UP AFTER YOUR SHIT.
and im tired.
i really am. i look it. i am it.

i try to tolerate somemore cos we've been frens for 4 years.
but friendship only goes so far in life. i learned.

and i dont mean to be such a nasty bitch.
but life jst cant be spent tolerating shit i dont need.
i tried to be nice. i offered her a place to live when she needed one.
and she comes and ruins my place.
my life.
my everything.

i wake up extra early every fuckin day to clean the dogs poop cos she doesnt like the smell.
she cleans the place on WEDNESDAY (one day. note that) cos she DOESNT HAVE SCHOOL and she thinks that enough.
its not. i clean all other 6 days.
i pick up shit and step on peee all the time.
she doesnt let the dog in her room and ITS HER DOG.
she uses my laundry hanger even tho shes got one in her romm.
and when i need to hang up my workin clothes, she says her stuff needs to dry.
WELL FUCKING USE YOUR OWN THEN.

keith is comin and i have to finda place to live for a week cos she walks in and out of my room to use the toilet excessively thruout the night. THATS NOT NORMAL.
nocturnal urination is supposed to be only ONCE a night.
WHO SHITS SO MUCH???

anywayyy im so broke now.
with evrything tats going on.
i got....7 bucks in my acct and im nt even gonna start to bitch abt the bills that are coming.

im sad.
cos i didnt plan to spend time with keith in pain and nagging abt my hsemate.
but i will have to.
i cant take things in my stride. cos im nt one to live in suffering IF THINGS CAN BE DONE TO IMPROVE THE SITUATION.
im suffering. full stop.