Oh God, send me your faith.

a lot of things, all in one shot,
a lot of people, all in a week,
taken from my hands,
leaving me with nth to look forward to,
but the mere sanctity of life in itself.

i cannot breathe.
i feel like my heart stopped beating
and sounds suddenly seem so distant to my ears.
as if,
calling out to me,
instead of directly conversing with me.

i am very weak. i figured.
i cannot think straight without my hands trembling.
i can barely drive myself home today after work.
i cannot feel my heartbeat anymore.

i cannot... anything.

Oh God
another day, another soul taken home.
please grant her mercy and grace
and strength for the whole family.
and give me the courage to live again.
my body won't move and my eyes won't open.

Maybe thats how it really feels.