i miss youuuuuuuu*

bittersweet and shame//

imagine spending the last 10 days or so in sg without the comfort and warmth of the ones you love.
and for a change,
im actually publishing my emotions and thoughts out in person.
and i meannnn,
in the face.

you cant imagine how torturous it is to have to argue with your own parents about how desperate you are to come hm to them in june/july.
i definitely wouldnt stop to phase,
but HELLLOoooo....
arent they s'ppose to welcme you back with the widest smile?
and warmest hearts??
i shant contemplate their reasoning,
in fear of hurting myself.
so i shall just PRETEND like i dont giva shit.
den mayb...
JUST mayb reverse psychology might work to my advantage for once.
=)

sometimes,
it takes more than one to keep something going.
and now,
theres nth more that i wanna say to change it.
cos' everything is going the same path im taking.
and for goddamn once,
i actually can say how happy i am to see you.
without feeling the guilt
or shame
or unfortune that you've brought upon me before.
and just for once,
i realise how much i did so becos' of
you.

Irony of it all is when you're there and i gotta go somewhere else to pursue what im living for.
but its not gonna change anything.
-the way we were
-the way we are
-the way we should be.
and not for once did i take for granted your absence or presence.
cos' i know that ultimately,
i'll be coming home to you.
once more.