right here waiting

ive altered every wrong bit in my life.

lets start with the basics!

ive started my lifetime of sport again (yes. i vaguely rembr my squash/volleyball/tt/gyming fanatics.)
and ive started this sporty rach right!!
with low-dose exercise to minimise a facade of being 'sporty' at first and the feeling and urge dying down after 2 days of sweat.
yes. ive played squash 3x this week.
and now, i actually RUN for the damn ball.
instead of standing ard, waiting for the ball to hit a bad corner of the forsaken wall and roll its way back to my foot. (:

anddddddddddddddddd i walk to uni...
without complaining. wells, prolly cos i got no choice but I ACTUALLY ENJOY WALKING NOW.
darn im a changed woman. (:

and today is the last smoke day for me.
NO MORE marlboros. fuck you ciggs.
stay out of my mouth pls. thankyew very much ((((((((((((((:

yes yes,
trivial as it seems,
i realise that the first step to being loved is to love yourself and not coagulate atherosclerotic plaques in your arteries! (:

man im goodddddddddddd.

anddddddddd to top it all off-
im staying single.
in fact ive alr started making a very veryyyyyyyyyyy conscious effort to do so.
and ive succeeded (pls let me gloat)

Logic came over yday to accompany me to send fina off to the airport at 4fucking am.
and when we got back.........
*ahem*
but no!
I used my non-bimbotic strength to dodge his flirtatious means and
I FOUGHT BACK.
in fact, i fought so hard i think he freaked out.
but who cares!
cos' im keeping myself whole and worthy.
pls dont insult me, Logic.
im nt your bitch.

and so, to top off my efforts,
ive faithfully added GOD as a to-love-list
instead of having an obligatory feeling everytime i attend church.
and god knows D,
i pray for you every second of the day.

my days of ranting abt how im loveless and incapable of loving or being loved stuff is over!
i mean, i prolly still feel it when im praying each night
and i wont deny-
I FEEL IT in my blood.
but im soooo over tryin to change that fate of mine
that i become selfless, inconsiderate, intangibly secluded frm civilisation.
but no more. werld!

i will love when its due,
i'll be loved when its destined.
i'll keep myself worthy and cleansed of unworthy ppl till i know its right.

and to redirect my sanity to love,
i have a new blog for love-ranting.
(no ure not getting the address. keke)

D.,
i'll be right here waiting.