you only want it cos' its over.

sigh.

you never call me when youre sober.
you only want it cos' its over.
it's over.

thats what im thinking right now.
about you.
and it amazes me how much you seem to love her.
as much as i never thought you were even capable of.
and it shits me to think that you couldnt even love me half as much as you do for her when we were tog.
and when it all fell apart, you promised you didnt have the means and effort to try for a rship.
and now?
you fall so deep into her,
im afraid im jealous.
):

yes.
and with every day that i go through thinking about how we could have been,
i hate myself for even liking you the way i did-
to be willing to give you my everything in hope you'd want me instead.
):
sighs.
----------------------
i need my daily dose of dmitri. yes yes.
not meeting him today cos' we GOT TO do work for once, on our own.
I MISS YOU SWEETIE!
): sigh.
wish you were here to study with me.
(by now you figured that i just DONT study, with or without dm)
S:

hope i get to see you before my med ball tmr. (: ilu*