//stage me up.

the perfect moment.
its you that held United Square so beautifully in my mind.
Baker's Inn made it humorous to even try to rembr.
we stood at its doorway
and tho they say ...
"the easiest path to life is a straight one",
we never cared to adhere.
then...

*CRACK*

the memory has faded.
period.
(( sorry. this entry is gonna be entirely vent-ful))

ERGH.
did it never once occur in your right mind that that sm1 is you??
did you NEVER once think that i was waiting for you to contact me instead of the other-way round???
and was it not clear ,
or did i not show it to you?
everything happened alr.
and it did with a good reason.
i was scared.
tat you cld love sm1 the way you did.
and i thank you for that.
but i dint see you at the airport,
even saying bye or waving a friendly hand.
and you think that I WAS the one who dint make the effort??
clearly it was you
cos you moved on much faster than i did.
only difference,
is that i moved on together with you in mind.
YOU just simply moved on and moved away.
now
theres one less reason to miss home.
ONE good reason to stay in melb.
and mug mug mug without keeping 'seeing you' in mind.
and ONE perfect reason to pretend we never talked.
cos it dint make a diff to your ohsowonderful world anymore.
and fer the record,
I CAN take care of myself.
thk you very much.
i think the only one that need taking care of is
her.
i dint ask to relive the past.
it was a mistake to think we could.
and if it mattered AT ALL to your invincible world,
i needed you
and NO,
you dint even try to be there.
so much for the cliche tone of Friends Forever.
we'll always be together.
yaddayadda blahblah
you give my str8 lfe a whole new meaning to it.
and im not mad...
(am i ranting that much??)
wells...
good luck for your future endeavorz.
i didnt spend a whole night thinking of
what cldve been
what shldve been
what mightve been
(shldve cldve wldve are the last words of a fool)

im not pissed.
i reallie wish i wasnt.
but you put me in he bad light
and i dint ask for that.
it wldve been perfect if we remained as the time during the camp.
where we bathed in the ulu toilet with trish
and when we shared our own petty probs.
and i did lie a lil back then.
cos the one i was referring to in my problems...
was you.

------------------------------------------------------
its ok.
im damn happy you moved on and found a lovely girl.
im happy you tried to
im sorry i left such an irreparable wound.
you know i still do.
and aif it makes this any worser,
i guess i shd stop here.
but the days we shared is engraved in my memory.
irreplaceable with yearssss
indescribable with words.
you really made an impact.
and i really fell this hard.
period//

im off to a bbq now. and im sure we'll sort this out one day.
but till that day
you owe me one.
and you'll never understand why.
(:
im done with the ranting. im sure it was longg and naggy.
but my minds a blur,
my hearts a mess.
love has ALWAYS been enough.
you just dint get there.
;\and one song you gave me,
i think it reminds me of you.
still. by brian mcknight.
you placed that tune in my mind
and you sang it well for the days.
with this same tune i'll leave this here.