22nd dec declared e worst day ever.

**i tried to die. it didnt work. and now i have to face a restless family.** oh my fuckking hellllll. just to let u noe, if i dunt blog tmr, im either dead or killed. nono, im serious la fuckk. went fer my medical checkup. EARLY. so fuck my father fer scolding me this morning. den everytink went well UNTIL the doctor spotted my heart's irregular pumping. k. here's where the fuck starts. he gave me a ECJ test where i hv to strip n lay wif stickers pasted all over my body. den a scan-o-gram will b drawn. DEN.... instead of a normal up n down motions we c in movies, mine was all pointing downwards. shows signs of abnormal waves called tentricula ectopic beats. its supposed to b when ure heart has some hole den it leads to an alternative pathway fer ur blood to flow. which leads to the ultimate heart disease. like wtf rite? k. so i had to meet a cardiologist. he did an ultrasound scan n another ECJ. which all ended in negative results. so my mum got pissed n told them to skip the last test- the holter test. this test is weird. im supposed to wear this ipod-looking device which is connected to 2 wires with needles injected in my chest. must wear fer 24hrs. den it will record ur heart traces. n according to my doctorSSS, they all said the same ting... "others dunt even have 1 tentricle beat. u have almost 500 in an hr" so my ohsolovingggggggFUCKED stepmum said forget abt the holter test.. its only a waste of $$. HELLO!?!?!??! ure veryyyyyyy own daughter is on the verge of getting heart disease n u care abt URE shopping $? oh pls. my ownnnn father oso said its a waste. HELLO again. i m fucking dying in the hospital. n every jab i get, i cry till it hurts. AND my mum can actuallie stand w her arms folded like a bitch, rite bside me while i cried n went unconscious. OH FUCK U AD n MY DAD. oh wait. ... n UR HUSBAND. u understand the meaning of suffering? now i admire God fer being able to tolerate pple WATCHING him suffer without a care. I AM DYING OK. n nw UR HUSBAND is scolding me... u noe fer waD?? fer having HEART PROBLEMS. WOW. okok. REALITY CHECK HERE?!?!? this prob is the result of INBORN INNATE problems. mayb u shld check ur heart too dad/ad, this prob mite hv been hieraditary.OH FUCK PARENTS who tink their always rite. u noe wad. this time ur right ad... cos u owaes wished i hadnt existed aniway. maybe when i die (thks to u.), i'll haunt u n tell u exactly how it felt having 4 injections, 2 ultrasound scans, 1 ECJ test, 1 holter n 907460943786 needles fucking piercing into ur skin. ur blood. u will bleed. more than i did. u will live wif the FACT tat u let ur own daughter suffer while u spent frivolously on Xmas shopping. now there r so many charities asking fer donations n all, y nt u start giving a lil care to ur own fuccking daughter. OH WAIT. UR NOT MY OWN mother. my mother is happier, wayyy more generous, prettier (tat goes widout saying), FUCKKING SKINNIER, lovelier, gentler.... this can go on man. OPS im sorrie. i din mean to b so frank. MAYBE THis is how YOU sound like when u say i shld hv died earlier too. n YES.... i m proud to say i finallie heeded ur advice to die earlier. so i tried to die. BUT NOOOoo. god says im too precious to let a bitch (thats youuu) ruin my life. the day i die of ani cause is the day Jesus comes down right here. N that day, my ohsowelllovedfuckking mother, is the day u'll never live to see. dunt mind me being rude. ooooh noooo. i wldnt dare b rude. u mite just deprive me of YET ANOTHER meal.ooooh nnnnnnnoooooooo... i wldnt dare offend u, wld it? bsides the fact that... 1.) u told the doc i owe u lots fer my med check up 2.) u told daddy my sickness is a fuccking nuisance 3.) u claim u care. but u wldnt spend a few hundred to SAVE me. 4.)ure just u. (and that is a worldwide catastrophy. n i'll curse u fer tat) ad n dad,... y do u question my sanity? DO I LOOK like i enjoy being sick? do i look happy in the 4 hospital tests' rooms? i went thru so many hrs today to get well n all u can ask abt is the student visA? aussie? is tat y ure so mad? cos my visa is late?? PLS my parents-by-assertion, u dunt noe a fuckking ting abt pain. if ur idea of pain is working like a mad dog everyday, den ure wrong. God endured his fate. NOW tat is pain. nt ur small paper-cut wound tt u insist will get infection. I AM THE FUCKING VICTIM of a heart infection/inflation. n i dun ask fer anitink. NOT even concern which i rightfully deserve OK! fuck. today is derefore the worst day of my life. i tink tmr mite b better, cos nth NTH NTH can get worse than this. thk god i hv great frens. unlike somepple who FAKE their sincerity. OH YA... in any case, i dun c y i cant pay u back every cent of my medical fees. since u need $ to shop fer XMAS (more like on urself cos u need more cloth than others. UH!~) den i'll bend, i'll beg, i'll kill. just fer that meagre 1300++ which u claim u worked hard fer.ohhhh pls. have u seen urself??? u get paid without stepping into the office. u get money whenever u ask dad. OH PLS u dunt noe the meaning of hardwork. a factory is hard work. nt a home wif a plasma tv, fully air con, wif so many fuckking babies u can set up a nursery. n thks to UR greatness, im weeping like a bitch at home. cos u insist i dun step outta the hse ritE? WELL WELL, THIS TIME I'll PROVE "older, wiser n better people to be profoundly in error in things in which they expressed their utmost assurance" (abstract of lit again). HA! nt bad huh? i quote well. listen up bitch, u touch me i'll kill u,