pain.

im sad.
had the WORST day at work yday.
first day as a waitress went BAD.
was scolded 3456789 times in one min
and btw the pay is WAYYYYY below the min labour wage
and IM NOT complaining,
so by right, they shldnt too.

becos brighton is one of the richest areas ard,
the tips are generous.
a customer who liked MY service
tipped me 50 bucks.
(now... thats almost 60 sg$ and is wayyyy more than my daily salary)
and the bitchmanager jst conveniently TAKES it frm my pocket
and claims all the tips of the day.
now THATs an italian bitch for u.
ERGHHH.

soo i try to be nice.
but to no avail.

was let off at 9pm.
not too bad. an early night.
decided to go down to monash soccer team to surprise dimmy.
ohhh u see, its our 2nd month on the 15th.
so i went down- bearing in mind that i have not eaten or slept the whole fucking day-
and nooooooo he continues to play wayyy over the time
and i have to starve for a while.
):

THATS OK. cos' in reference to the rest of the YEAR,
i tink that was very minor. (:

thennnnnnnn..
im supposed to go to Mount smth (forgot the name)
to pick strawberries.
yes.
and guess whattttttttttttt-
i HAD to have my period righttttttt this morning.
ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
nvm the f*cking blood-
the CRAMPS was unbearable.
seriously.
i shall declare today the 2nd worst Cramp day in my entire life.
so i curled up in my bed, freezing my bum off, hungry frm yday,
and no food- no money (intended to draw some today)- no energy (from all the crying)- no hope.
and DIMMY BOY nicely goes to the strawberry farm anyway.

ookok
im in no position to question or doubt.
no position to expect or attach.
and definitely no position to request he stay.
but honestly,
(in all modesty)...
i felt my womb was gonna explode.

after that happened (linn & tiff & meg u will knw what im talking abt)
the dr said periods will be VERY pain
aka more blood, more cramps.
and soooo,
u can jst imagine how my head is spinning at this point.

im sad today.
not that im hungry, or lonely, or broke, or STILL NEEDING TO WORK AT a chinese restaurant, or home-sick.
its the fact that tmr is aaryanna's 1 month.
and im home alone with NO ONE,
whilst my punani churns out its own story.
its the fact that the oh-so-faithful boyfren
can bear to watch my mourn out in pain and still walk away
you NEED to pick strawberries??
the girl who practically lives on strawberries NEEDS to pick them,(me).
not a guy whose gf is praying she wont pass out frm the loss of blood
and the lack of food.

and to conclude my dwellin',
happy 1 month aaryanna. you're missed.
and i think of you EVERYDAY that i breathe
and wish i could meet you one day.
i rembr your smell. your shape.
i rembr your color. your face.
and i will rembr you ....