the Last PFE (or PTE). sigh*

//steph jackson my sweeeeeet lolly partner in tute! (:
//me me me YES I KNW. //theekshna baby girl and me!
//me and RASHA my favourite girlllllllllllllllllllll. all time.
//my lil vik. with a major diagnosis of lack of sleep. heheh.

//allister ware. // SHANE !!! (too bad u cant see his gf emma in the back)



//ME ME ME again. and me n MARK my tdoug. (:


basically last night went ok.
could have been worse.
but one thing that struck me DEEP INSIDE, like a winter's night- cold and merciless- J.C (lets call him).

and i would love to say how ecstatic i was to see you try to grab my attention
each time you tappedmy shoulder or smiled at me.
and each time you walked/ squeezed past me in the crowd,
you'd hold me.
and without a word- serenade me till im weak inside.

i rembr walking past V. ( that #$%^&*) and seeing smth i wish i hadnt seen.
and being my usual, hard up self,
i walked past and even gave a smirk.
a smirk of resentment and maybe a hint of victory that he could never have me.
n-e-v-e-r again.

ANYWAYYYY...
back to JC.
im kinda glad i saw you yday.
cos' i looked good. (or at least i hope i did)
and you? well... you looked awesome as usual.
but no offence,
i kinda think i look better. HAH.

and despite everything,
everyday of our lives here in melbourne,
in Med,
i stil rembr you so clearly.

i rembr your taste.
i rembr your smell.
in fact,
i spray it ard the house sometimes when smth smells bad.
cos' i knw you'll drown out the bitterness of solitude.

theres always a difference btwn us.
whether its time or words,
attitudes or feelings,
regret or resentment.
i tink you knw that too.

but you're that level which defines intelligence.
the charm that defines gentlemanliness.
the effort that defines sweetness.
the grace that defines worthiness.
the line that defines the ying & the yang.
the existance that defines life & death.
the personality that defines a man.
the skill that defines an apprentice.
and the heart that defines a lover.

and like you always said,
(quote/unquote)
she is the bird that shits on your armani suit.
but she's the reason you could afford a thousand $ suit in the first place.
she is....

me?