fcuked all over again.

this week has pretty much been the same
since day one .
nana is still there.
im still here in sis' hse using the net,
figuring out where the fuck monash pple went to.
and still wondering how fcukin long it'll take for you to understand.
the only smile i can produce is when i receive mrs hallatsch's email.
everyday =)
she's my Math B teacher.
sooooo cute of her! always hooked onto our lingo of 'retardation'.
=) heh.

as for the other side of life...
the offline,
NO life,
daily travelling to places i've learnt to abhor,
and all thats in between,......
IT SUCKS.
i hate waking up feeling so miserable.
like there isnt really much of a purpose of doing so,
when you know the next day and following wouldnt be much of change.
so surprise me.
i think i'd be ashamed to wake up realising how long i've dragged this fruitless holiday.
well...
holiday should be in inverted commas.
cos its a Fcukin tragic irony to me right now.
and as much as i'd love to believe im enjoying my 18th bday ,
IM SOOOOOO fcukin not.
thankyouverymuch.

i hate you
i hate you and all your bullshit.

random as i may get,
this has always been on my mind.
so its out.
and im done here.

as for nana's 80th bday.
we're cancellign the ballroom party due to UNforeseen circumstances.
and as for my BBQ,
its still on,
arghhh but who cares.
i, on the other hand, dont give two flyin fcuks about it anymore.
=S
i hope nana will be ok soon. i hate seeing her in such agony of being bedridden and all that fucked up shit.
i wish she knew just how much im supporting her.
cos OBVIOUSLY,
love's NOT always the goddamn cure for this shits.

my uni app. is getting faster.
at least i got my freaking COE alr.
soooo i can start applyin for the freakin visa.
lol.

and to amanda shuen,
PLS reply my email or contact me soon.
im dyingggggggggg to hear frm you dear =) mwahhhs*.

as for the rest of my werld,
i hope to cya all @ my party k.
=) glad im finally fcukin 18.
lol.
my day has come.
tho not a brighter note,
but im aging.
=) heh