fucked upside down.

i hate today.
i wish i didnt have to live today and skip to tmr instead.
its the most fucked up monday ive had since...
ever.
sorry,
and pardon my loose usage of 'fuck' today.
i hate to even imagine what the next few days wil be like.
dwelling my alr-bad-fucked-up-face in the self-pity that tmr aint gonna get any better.
and gloping in the moodiness of the family as we unwillingly accept the hard fucking facts of life.
life's a bitch. and u end up marrying one.
someone once told me that.
and you know what,
its so fucking true.
everyone thinks ive changed.
mayb in language or speech.
mayb in attitude or likeness.
but i beg to differ.
im just being rrealllllly fucked up today.
and for tmr,
(i'd love to pretend that tmr is a perfect day)
but i have to live on knowing that my day is fucked
and so forth till i get over LIFE's fucked up days.
its just one of those mondays ya know??

as for B.,
sorry i dint pick you up frm the maju camp.
my bad.
but pls understnad that today is the most fucked up day i'll ever have,
and that i can never fully explain to you my erghhhhhhness inside.
as for megg,
sory i din meet u agn today.
my bad too.
and i know im so unorg today.
but plsssssss bear with me.
i dint ask that nana be impaired by this fucking shit today.

i wish i cld hit pause and REWIND fucking time.
and shld i know what mite have become,
i wldve made sure what will happen isnt this.
sorry blogreaders.
this entry is total random and im just screaming it outta my heart.
there r many tings i wish i dint imagine,
ways i wish i dint feel,
and words i wish i dint say.
but its done for.
and today is OFFICIALLY the saddest,
and by far the most traumatic day for me.
i cant explain on-fuckingNOprivacy-line,
but i hope i'll be better tmr.
and that i wld react better than i did today.
today was a real bitch. and i admit i bitchslapped it right back.
but isnt tmr always a day for miracleS?
well...
i'll need a damn fucking big one this time then.
god be nice.