sum it up with 2 thoughts.

thought no. 1: who-else-but-my-stepmom.

i slept at 4 am and had to wake up at about...8plus
cos she couldnt keep her voice down.
she yelled at elicia kate and gave her a tight slap
and jst cos' she wanted apple juice rudely.
ok manners is one thing to impart onto a kid,
but WE (normal ppl) use words and tone to teach a child of THREE YEARS old,
not violence and relentlessness.
thankyou very much ad.
and then she scolds the maids. BOTH OF THEM every fucking morning.
she doesnt jst tell, she YELLS
till the coolair filled room with doors slammed shut can still hear every word without much hassle.
first of all, have some cow sense that ppl dont wanna be woken up so early.
and that scolding and wanting to hit a maid is alr abuse.
(you wouldnt want your taitai image to be ruined, wld u?)
and you scold them cos' of MINOR creases in the tops they ironed.
HELLLLLLLLO?? even i was so frustrated i woke up jst to prove to her that the tops are fine.
then she uses MY name and says that my tops are spoilt by them too.
EH BTW woman, i like my clothes and they are flawlessly ironed.
!#$%^&*)(@
pls dont put words in my mouth.
esp to ppl i respect, like my 2 aunty-maids who have stayed with you almost 3 fucking years to put up with YOUR SHIT.
the worst part is,
she alwayssss puts a choice to them and forces them to choose an option
and whatever they choose, its wrong.
sometimes i wish i could be like her- ruthless and a total hoe.
but then... nahh. i dont think anyone is capable of being at her level.
so... yah. badluck.

thought no. 2: always, you.

met josh gerard elmo yday at kim san leng.
ohhh mannnn. we stayed from 7pm till morning!
and before that josh came over my place for a treat of living with 5 babies.
(:
we chatted alot. and i was quiet for quite a no. of times.
cos' i was looking straight in my direction the whole time.
to be exact- Bangkit Road.
yes. (i knw what youre tinking. DONT tink)
and i felt like conveniently taking a walk by myself.
but what wld gerard and all say. or think.
let alone myself. what the hell am i supposed to think?

i cannot tell you how much i did before,
or tried to be.
how eager i was before,
or had to be.
i cannot explain how down i was put before,
or chose to be.
how rebellious i was before,
or seemed to be.

what you had, (and wanted me to have) - i had.
what you like, (and wanted me to like)- i liked. and with all my heart.
who or what you hate, i hated. even with regret.
why you did some things, i accepted with silence.
and everything, EVERYTHING, you put before me, i let you.
and i didnt complain.
and i wont.
but josh gor is right- you probably missed me and then you msged me.
speechless-.
but other 364 days of the year,
you were never there. you never cared. you probably didnt want me.
and you never will.
when you were kicked out of home at 18, I sneaked out to meet you at 4.45am.
i still rembr.
when you were dumbed by a girl who clubs excessively and cheated on you, (WHILE we were fuckin dating) i was the one who accompanied you.
that was the saddest day for me, that i still rembr.
when you cheat, you laugh, you tear(you insist not crying), you fight, you shout, you stare, you ride (the bike laa. what you thinking), you play, you fall sick-
all that i sit and watch and jst like tht, become easily contented.

okok i realise my emo-ness has jst showed you ppl
jst how weak i am.
oh darn.

DIMMMM CALL ME!